


I still believe, I still believe

by a_dot_burr_ell



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Kid Fic, Post-Canon, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2019-08-02 20:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16312229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_dot_burr_ell/pseuds/a_dot_burr_ell
Summary: Weeks ago, Lena finally learned Kara's secret and she decided she was done. Done with trying to prove she was worthy of the truth, done with heroes, and done with the woman she used to call her best friend.Kara thought she'd lost Lena forever.A surprise delivery presents an opportunity to take on new responsibilities and brings the two of them back in close proximity to one another. Can they make it work? Or are things between them too far gone?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't the usual sort of story I'd write and, honestly, this is kind of a way for me to process all lot of things that have happened in the past year. But I thought I'd share it anyways. 
> 
> I want to be clear. This is not going to be some long winded way to try and shove my idea of parenthood or what the 'right' thing to do is down anyone's throat. The feelings that Kara and Lena will go through are two sides of the same coin and all I want to do is try to explore them both. 
> 
> No matter anyone's personal feelings on the matter (which are ALL valid), I hope this will be a story of two idiots learning how to navigate a new kind of life and maybe finding out that they can find solace in each other in the process.

_“I don’t know what there’s left to say, Kara.” The name once a balm to her, felt like acid on her tongue. She didn’t want to be having this conversation but she’d had no choice when Lena had stepped out of the elevator to her Penthouse to see Kara waiting for her at her front door. “You lied to me for over two years! You never would have even come clean if it wasn’t for the fact you needed me to refuse you with the second Supergirl!”_

_“Yeah, with Harun-El that you weren’t supposed to have!” Kara clenched her fists tightly at her side._

_Lena dug in her purse for her key card. “I’m the one that synthesized it, you had no right to tell me whether I could keep it or not! And without it you would still be split!”_

_“You were only able to synthesize it because I brought it back from Argo,” she hissed. “It’s dangerous, Lena! Even we don’t know the extent of what it could do, you shouldn’t be experimenting with it!”_

_“Oh, here we go!” Lena rolled her eyes as she swiped the card through the key reader, unlocking her door. “If the almighty Kryptonians can’t understand it, then how could a lowly human possibly hope—”_

_“That’s not what I meant! I meant—”_

_Lena pushed the door open and whirled around to block Kara from following her inside. “I don’t care what you meant. I’m done. In the future if you need me, have Director Danvers contact me. If not, I’d prefer not to see you again. Goodbye.” And she had slammed the door in the face of the woman who used to be her best friend_.

That conversation replayed in Lena’s mind every time she walked through her front door, even now three months later. As did the events that transpired in her life since then; her break up with James, the knowledge that he had been instrumental in damaging one of the only two real friendships she’d ever had put too much strain on their relationship; she sold CatCo and returned to her place at the head of LCorp; and she’d resumed her experiments on the Harun-El to look for a sustainable energy replacement.

Work became her solace; she put in more hours than ever before, stopping only to eat or sleep and often at her desk, and went home to her penthouse only when necessary. It was weeks before she realized she hadn’t spoken to a single person outside of work since cutting Kara out of her life. It was as if Kara had been a doorway to a larger circle that had all been stripped away. Alex was busy as the new Director of the DEO, James was still mostly bitter about their break up, even Winn was gone, off in the future fighting off some evil AI. Even the one friend she’d brought into the equation wasn’t immune.

Sam had fled with Ruby for a time, needing to get away from the results of Reign’s destruction, but she had returned to National City after six months and rejoined LCorp. Time with her remaining friend however was cut short as it wasn’t long before Sam began dating Alex Danvers. Soon, Lena couldn’t spend any extended amount of time with Sam or Ruby without hearing a myriad of stories about the Danvers sisters and Sam had taken it upon herself to try and mend the rift that occurred between them.

“ _I’m serious, Lena. How long do you plan to hold on to this grudge? Kara is great! You’re the one that showed me that.”_

_“If she’s so great then why did she lie to me for years? Does that sound like something a good person does?”_

_“No, but saving my life is. And if I recall, she saved yours too, multiple times.”_

_Lena hated when she was reminded of that._

She was back in her kitchen, wishing for nothing more than a stiff drink and to forget about her personal troubles. Unfortunately, only one of those things were under her control.

Grabbing a crystal tumbler from the overhead cabinet and a bottle of expensive scotch from her freezer, Lena tilted the bottle to fill the cup with a (not so) healthy portion of scotch. She watched the amber hit the bottom of the glass (she was going to have to buy more soon), it was a quarter full (Kara would tell her to switch out the scotch for ice cream), it was passing the halfway mark (maybe her mother was right, maybe she would never be able to trust anyone), three quarters—

The apartment shook beneath her feet, the tremors causing the alcohol to slosh over the sides before a loud boom was heard followed by the sound of dozens of car alarms going off. Steadying herself, Lena placed the bottle on the counter and forgot all about her drink. “What the fuck?”

Rushing to the balcony, Lena peered over the railing and over the street below. A long strip of the road was destroyed in what was obviously a rough landing for a small disk-shaped ship with pointed wings. There were several fires around the small vessel, a few upturned cars, and a broken water main. Bystanders were cautiously reappearing from their hiding spaces behind cars and buildings, giving the sudden arrival a wide berth.

It couldn’t be a coincidence that it had come into the atmosphere at the speed of a rocket and landed just outside her building. From the depth that it penetrated the ground and the damage surrounding it, the ship was most likely from space. Their aim must have been a little off...

Any thoughts about who would possibly be out to kill her now were pushed aside when a blur of blue and red appeared on the scene to a round of applause.

Supergirl had arrived.

* * *

On the ground, Kara lifted her head to the nearest building, her gaze moving immediately to the top floor where she spotted someone with long dark hair turning their back on the scene and disappearing inside.

Lena.

It had been twelve weeks and six days since Kara had last heard from her best friend. Not that she blamed her. She'd done a lot of things wrong leading up to the blowout the two of them had. She regretted many of them, most of all the way she'd ambushed Lena outside her place after she'd learned of Kara's identity.

Not to say that Kara was ready to apologize—she still believed that Lena was too cavalier with her experiments—but she longed to walk through the front door of the upscale hotel, take the elevator to the top, and make Lena just talk to her. But Lena had been pretty clear that she didn't want to a visit from her and Kara had already spent too much time breaking her trust to disregard her now.

But there was still the little matter of the freaking spaceship that had crash landed outside Lena's apartment.

“Everybody, stay back!” She swung her arms out as she spoke to the crowd. “You don't want to get close until we know what we're dealing with.”

The few people that had drifted closer when she arrived fell back, giving her plenty of space. With the coast clear, she took several steps forward. She wanted to get a primary assessment in before Alex sent in her team.

The ship was still hot from entering the atmosphere, Kara could practically see the waves of heat rolling off it's metallic surface. It was small, very possible a single or unarmed ship, and it was about as big as a Honda Civic But there was something about the clunky design and ostentatious blue lights that was familiar…

Her stomach did a nasty flip when she was able to place it. It was a perfect replica of the Daxamite invasion ships in miniature. And since the last time they had anything to do with Daxam had been nothing but city destroying trouble, whatever was inside was was most likely a threat.

Kara pressed a finger to the comm in her ear. “Alex, come in.”

Her sister's voice came over the ear piece. “I'm here, Supergirl.”

“This pod is from Daxam.”

There was a beat of silence. “Daxam? Are you sure?”

“I'm positive.” It had taken her a while to place because the last time something like this happened, it was a kryptonian ship. “I need to take a look inside this thing. I need to know if my priority is going to be getting this thing away as soon as possible or if we can wait to transport it.”

“Good idea. My team is less than two minutes out. Make sure it's not a bomb of some sort.”

Letting herself relax, Kara opened her senses, particularly her hearing, searching for the mechanical ticking of a counter. Instead, what she heard was a rhythmic beating. Kara shut her eyes tight, willing the muscles in her eyes to relax. When she opened them, the world around her was slightly unfocused until she turned her sights on the pod and her vision slipped past the exterior and gave her a peek at its contents.

She gasped, her eyes snapping shut to restore her vision. “Alex, we need to get this thing out of here, now!”

“Supergirl, what is it? A bomb?” Her voice rose several octaves, breaking the cool demeanor Alex usually used over the comms.

“No, it's not something, it's a someone.”

“A Daxamite?”

“I'm on my way to you!” There was no time to explain.

Alex cursed. “Supergirl, no! We can't have you flying a ship of that size through the city. It's too easy to trace!”

“I can't leave them out in the open air!” Not after what she saw when she looked inside. Not when the air was still poison to anyone from Daxam that wasn't lucky enough to get the lead cure from the future.

Without another word, she tore the wings off the machine, tossing them to the ground. Next went the tail and the jets beneath it. Soon, all that was left was the cockpit and the vital life sustaining components. She had effectively cut down the pod my half its size, making it much easier to move.

Grabbing it by it's new edge, Kara lifted it easily. She bent her legs and pushed off from the ground, careful not to damage the already ruined concrete any further. She took to the sky, delicately balancing the ship in front of her as she wove in and out of National City's tallest buildings. It didn't take long to reach the DEO, a matter of only seconds, but it felt like one of the longest flights of her life.

She landed on the balcony of the DEO and addressed the agents that rushed to assist her. “We need to clear the med bay and vent the room. There can’t be any lead in the air!”

The agents hurried to do as she asked except for her sister who strode to her side. “Supergirl, want to explain why you needed to get back here so quickly? And why the med bay? We haven’t determined whether whoever’s inside that thing is a threat, we should be monitoring this from a containment unit.”

“Sorry,” she began, dragging the pod along behind her. Without the bulky parts, it was about the same size as she was. “But there’s a baby in there so I wanted to move quickly.”

Alex gaped. “A baby?”

Someone cleared their throat. Turning her head, Kara saw Brainiac-5 standing off to the side. He was standing with his hands clasped behind his back, his expression neutral (as always), and his appearance dampener turned off. “Supergirl, the preparations you asked for have been completed.”

“Thanks, Brainy.” She dragged the pod beside the glass wall to the med bay, and circled to the front. “Okay, I’m going to take the baby out of here and superspeed into the room.”

She dug her fingers into the metal where she assumed the seal would be, satisfied when it came apart easily. There was a hiss as the pressurized cabin became exposed to the open air, and a clear liquid spilled out of the pod. It spilled onto the floor and pooled around their feet.

“Ew! What is that?” Kara asked, depositing the lid on the floor. She floated up so as not to touch the unidentified liquid.

“Hmm.” Brainy leaned down and swiped at the liquid, rubbing the substance between his fingertips.

Alex leaned over and smacked him on the arm. “Don’t touch it, genius.”

Brainy ignored her. “I believe this would be synthetic amniotic fluid. This must be a Daxamite birthing capsule.”

“Holy shit,” Alex said, stepping up to the pod. “Does that mean—?”

“I believe the colloquial term is ‘the water just broke’.”

“So, this baby is brand new?” Kara asked, focusing on the pod’s occupant.

Sure enough, the baby inside was curled up into a little ball, it’s skin glistening and the hair they could see wet and plastered against the baby’s head. A fleshy cord ran in between the baby’s limbs, attaching it to the ship where there were some screens lit up with the baby’s vitals. Finally, the baby moved, stretching slightly and shifting around in the basin it was in.

A second later, the monitors began a low beeping and the screens turned a deep red. Writing Kara recognized as the Daxamite symbols flashed over the red screen and she felt panic building in her throat. “The baby’s suffocating!”

“I got this!” Alex said. She dashed into the med bay area, grabbing several instruments off trays and counters. She sprinted back, nearly slipping in the fluid on the floor, but managed to stay on her feet. “We need to cut the cord and clear the lungs.”

Kara watched anxiously as her sister clamped the cord and cut it before reaching in and grabbing the baby, cradling it to her chest and moving quickly to the medical wing. She followed close behind, hovering while Alex laid the baby down on an exam table and carefully stretched out its limbs. A sudden stream of something shot out from the baby, narrowly missing them.

“Well, it’s a boy,” Alex said, grabbing a hand towel from the tray next to her and covering the baby’s lower body. She picked up the portable suction and stuck the tip into the baby’s mouth. She put the suction down, and patted the baby’s chest. “Come on little guy.”

The baby’s face scrunched up, opened his mouth, took a breath and—“WAAAAAHHHH!”

Kara let out the breath she’d been holding, trading grins with her sister. “Oh, wow! You did it!”

“Those three years in med school weren’t for nothing,” Alex said, breathless. “Grab a towel, I want to clean him up.”

Kara did as her sister asked, bouncing on her toes as Alex worked on the baby. She wiped him down, gently scrubbing the fluid from his hair and skin, weighed and measured him, and ran a quick echo. The baby cried throughout the examination, arms squirming and legs kicking. When she was finished, the baby was dry and wrapped in a blanket, quietly snoozing.

“He’s big, for a newborn,” Alex remarked, shifting until the baby was tucked in her arms.

“Really?” Kara didn’t have much experience with babies. She’d babysat throughout college but those kids were mainly in the kindergarten and elementary school age groups.

“Yeah, he’s around the size of a typical six month old. But it’s not just his size, his motor skills are advanced, too. When I gave him the echo, he pulled at the leads, and his grip was strong.”

There was a knock on the glass door. Brainy had returned, a tablet in his hands. “Director Danvers, Vasquez and her team have returned with the remainder of the Daxamite ship and I was able to download the ship’s onboard computer.”

“What did you find?” Alex asked, handing the baby over to Kara.

“Oh, okay!” Kara held out her arms awkwardly and Alex placed the baby, letting him roll slightly towards Kara’s chest while she removed her hands.

“I’ll be back,” Alex said, vacating the room.

She shifted until the baby’s head was supported in the crook of her elbow, while her other arm supported the body. He shifted against her, squirming in his blankets. When she was confident that he wouldn’t fall, Kara began bouncing rhythmically and he settled back down.

He was warm; she could feel his body heat through the blanket and the material of her suit, spreading over her. He had a full head of black hair, the ends curling up around his forehead and ears, and she realized Alex was right, he looked closer to toddler than infant, his cheeks losing some of that baby fat in favor of a lengthening face.

“Either way, you’re a cutie,” Kara said, keeping her voice down. The baby smiled in his sleep and Kara was filled with an irrational wave of affection. “Alex, he smiled!” She looked up, expecting to see Alex glance back, but instead she saw her and Brainy bent over the tablet, her brow furrowed and her mouth drawn in a thin line. “Alex? What is it?”

Finally, registering that Kara was talking to her, Alex glanced up, something inscrutable in her expression. “Come on.” Alex dragged Brainy inside, not bothering to close the door.

“Alex, the door!” She sped to the other side of the room. “The air out there is contaminated!”

“It’s okay, Kara. He’s not from Daxam.” Alex waved her over.

That brought her up short. “If he’s not from Daxam, then where is he from?” Approaching the other two, Kara waited for an answer.

“Technically speaking, he is from Daxam, but he shares no genetic material with any Daxamite,” Brainy clarified, pulling up a chart. “I suppose you could also say that he was supposed to be a Daxamite. Or half of one, anyways.”

She looked between them both. “You lost me.”

“Kara,” Alex began. “Brainy was right, this is a birthing capsule. On Daxam, you would provide genetic code from two people and the machine would handle the growth and gestation of the baby.”

“Right, like the Birthing Matrix on Krypton.” Except it was much more advanced than the one outside the room.

Brainy nodded. “Correct. But Daxam’s birthing process is much more random; they have no control over which genes take precedence. They feed two DNA samples to the capsule with these containers and it takes whichever two genetic codes reach it first. For this infant, it was these samples, specifically.” He held out his hand to reveal two metal tubes. One is labeled with Mon-El’s name, the other with Lena Luthor.”

Kara blinked. Once, twice. “I’m sorry. What?”

Alex tapped on the tablet and brought up another image. This one was a work order. “The process was authorized by Rhea, Queen of Daxam. The date is the same day as the Daxamite invasion of Earth.”

Both Lena and Mon-El had recounted the events that occurred when they were trapped on the Queen’s ship but they never mentioned… “So he’s—” She felt sick to her stomach as she looked down at the baby. “Lena and Mon-El’s?”

Alex shook her head. “No, not Mon-El’s.”

“The need for two genetic codes was satisfied with the first tube, the second one was never utilized.”

“How?”

Brainy hesitated. “I will need to investigate further to determine that but we know for sure that two samples were used, just that they were both contained in the first capsule.”

Two parents. One of which was Lena. “Okay,” she started, handing Alex the baby. “Someone needs to call Lena—” When he was gone from her arms she felt strangely empty.

The baby stirred, his face scrunching up and a whine coming from his lips. Alex began soothing him. “I think we should wait until we have more information.”

“Call her now,” Kara snapped. Alex’s eyes widened so Kara made a conscious effort to keep her voice even. “This directly concerns her, we can’t keep this from her.”

Alex studied her for a beat. “Alright, I’ll give her a call.”

“Great, perfect.” She headed for the door, eager to get out of that room. “I’m just going to go fight.” Fight anyone, or anything; she just wanted to do something to take her mind off the fact that her insides felt like they were missing. Alex stared at her and she realized what she said. “Um, crime,” she added. “Fight crime. Yeah.”

She could feel Alex’s eyes on her as she fled the DEO as fast as she could.

* * *

The call came, as she expected it would, in the early hours of the morning. Lena didn’t mind. As soon as the ship crashed right next to her building she knew she was going to be involved. It happened to be Alex on the other line, which she was grateful for, asking her to come into the DEO as soon as she could.

“Of course,” she promised. “Is there something I should be aware of now?”

“Uh,” Alex started, pausing when there was a muffled voice on the other line. “I’ll just explain it when you get here. I have to go!”

Lena didn’t bother answering, the call ending from Alex’s end first. Sighing, she pocketed the phone. She hadn’t expected to get any answers that way but she was still disappointed because she had no further information to ease the anxiety that had been building since that evening.

Figuring that there was no point to delaying, she left her apartment, getting into her car and making the short drive to the DEO. She was waved in to the underground parking lot by the building’s attendant and she parked, getting into the elevator and selecting the appropriate floor.

The first thing she noticed when she stepped out of the elevator was the lack of armed agents. She took it was a sign that she wasn't being directly blamed for whatever was going on. Instead, the only person there to greet her the blue-skinned coluan.

“Ms. Luthor, a pleasure to see you again.” Brainy nodded in greeting.

Even now, she didn’t know much about Brainy but they’d managed to maintain polite interactions. She supposed she'd earned his respect when she managed to fly the Legion ship without any assistance. “I wish it was under better circumstances.”

Brainy’s head tilted. “Really? I heard that situations like this were joyous for humans.”

Was he teasing her? “What do you mean?”

Before he could answer, Alex arrived looking harried. “Lena, hey! Thanks for coming in.”

“I'm still a little confused as to what I'm doing here—” The rest of her sentence was cut off by a loud wailing.

Alex closed her eyes at the sound, her shoulders dropping. “So close.”

Lena pointed towards the general direction of the crying. “Is that—?”

“A baby, yes,” Brainy said.

Neither of them added anything further and Lena felt her patience slipping. “Alright, what the hell is going on?” She kept her gaze steady as she looked between Alex and Brainy. Alex looked uncomfortable, The Coluan looked, well, neutral.

Alex broke first. “Okay, this is going to take some explaining.” She put a hand on Lena’s shoulder and steered her to the conference room.

* * *

 _He looks like Lex_. That was the first thing Lena thought when she saw him. He looked like Lex but he had her nose and hair color. But there were other things, too. His chin and eyes were different; the features were familiar, but she couldn’t quite place them.

“Rhe—” she broke off, her throat tight. “Rhea mentioned harvesting my DNA while I slept. When she said she didn’t need us to produce an heir, I hadn’t realized she had created one already.”

Alex sat patiently across from her at the conference room table, holding the baby. “I’m sure this is a huge shock.”

“Shock would be an understatement.”

Of all the things she expected when the older Danvers had called, ‘the aliens that kidnapped you stole your DNA, created a baby without your knowledge or consent, and then sent it back when it didn’t come out how they wanted it’ was not one of the options that crossed her mind. Now, she couldn’t do anything except stare at him from across the table, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that there was a living, breathing, child not five feet from her that was, for all intents and purposes, related to her.

“He’s very big,” she commented. There wasn’t much more she could say. All he had done since she’d arrived was cry if he was put down and sleep.

Alex nodded. “Brainy deciphered more of the ship’s records. It seems that he was full term about nine months ago, but it kept him in the gestation stage until he landed. So despite today being his birthday, he’s actually nine months old.”

Almost a year old. “That’s...wow.”

“All things considering, he's actually a little small but we theorize that was because the birthing pod was hindering his growth. His growth should even out now that he's out." Alex raised the baby in her arms out to her. "Do you want to hold him?”

Her head snapped up. “What? Oh, no, I don’t think—” She decidedly did _not_ want that.

Something caught Alex’s attention behind her. “Supergirl’s back.”

Lena swung her chair around to see Supergirl approaching, tension rolling off her in waves. They locked eyes and Lena’s pulse quickened.

Kara ducked her head, breaking their eye contact. She looked like she was about to enter the room but she was stopped when Brainy rushed past her into the room. Instead, she used the opportunity to leave. Lena didn’t know if she was happy or disappointed.

“Director Danvers, I still haven’t discovered—” His voice began at a loud enough register that the baby whined. Alex shot Brainy a glare and shushed the baby, rocking him softly. Brainy lowered his voice to a harsh whisper. “—who the second sample came from but I did discover how it occured.” He pulled out a metal tube and removed the top. He pulled something from inside and laid it on the table. “It’s hair, plus some kind of rubber and cloth apparatus. ”

Lena leaned in, immediately recognizing what he put down. “Well, that explains how she got my DNA.”

“You know what this is?” Brainy asked.

It took her a moment before she realized he was serious. “It’s a hair tie.” She’d worn her hair up when she was in the lab that day but when she woke up on the ship, her hair was down.

He mouthed the words, seeming to absorb them before shaking his head slightly. “Very well. But the fact remains that this is how they obtained both samples. You can still see where there are two different colored strands tangled to the item.”

She could just make out strands of her own hair mixed in with a few, much lighter strands. Lena’s stomach sank. She knew exactly who’s hair that was because she had taken that hair tie from her bathroom days before the invasion during a visit.

Alex nodded. “Okay, well that helps narrow it down. I don’t suppose you remember anyone using your hair tie?”

Lena swallowed against the lump that formed in her throat. “You might want to call Supergirl in here.”

Brainy’s brow furrowed. “What? Why?”

He looked between them but Lena kept her attention focused on Alex’s face. She knew the moment the information registered. Alex’s eyes widened, her gaze dropping to the bundle in her arms.

“Oh my god.”

* * *

Telling Kara did not go how she expected.

While Lena had been rendered practically speechless by the revelation, Kara seemed almost nonplussed. She simply took the evidence in her hands and shook her head.

“I remember when you took this. We were making pizza.”

She remembered too. She got flour on her blazer and Kara ate all the pepperonis before the pie made it into the oven. “I remember.”

The tablet in Brainy’s hands beeped. “That’s the rapid results. It’s confirmed. The other sample belongs to Supergirl.”

Lena’s breath caught. So there it was. Conclusive proof that she had a baby with Supergirl, her ex-best friend.

Kara's eyes filled with tears and she actually smiled. “Oh, Rao.”

Alex handed Kara the baby. “Here you go, momma.”

“He's beautiful.” Kara caressed his face with the back of her hand.

“How crazy is it that I delivered my nephew?” Alex asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Kara laughed.

Lena watched the exchange, her anxiety building. They were so happy and she was...not. She didn't know exactly what she was feeling but if she had to guess, it was sitting somewhere between blindsided and panicked.

“Now that we know his entire, er, parentage, we should probably discuss a few things,” Alex said, placing her hands on her hips.

“Like what?” Kara asked, still not taking her eyes off the baby.

“I want to run a few genetic panels,” she continued. “I want to know how much of him is human and how much is kryptonian. It will affect how you handle things like vaccinations and his future health.”

Lena blanched. Did that mean he could possible develop superpowers? That hadn't even occurred to her before now.

Kara looked up. “That will need, what, blood?”

Alex nodded. “I have a portable sun lamp and the phlebotomy tray. There's no gaurentee he needs the lamp but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'll go grab them. Come on, Brainy.” She jerked her head towards the door.

When they were gone Lena addressed Kara. “How…?

“Hmm?” She had gone back to her staring.

“How are you not completely,” she lowered her voice when the baby twitched. “Freaked out right now!”

Kara frowned and looked at her. “Believe me, I am. But I’m also excited.”

“How can you be excited? This whole situation is…” Lena looked for an appropriate word. “Creepy,” she settled on.

“Lena,” Kara started, pausing as if choosing her words as well. “I wasn't even sure if I can have kids on this planet. So this—” She held the baby up a bit. “This feels a bit like a miracle to me. I may not be totally happy with the timing, but this is how my people expanded their families. This is normal for me.”

Lena pressed her lips together into a thin line. She hadn't considered that. “I’m sorry. I forget sometimes.”

“What? That I’m an alien who didn’t grow up on Earth?” Kara asked hotly.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Kara's eyes flashed and she knew that Kara was thinking back to when she'd uttered the same words and Lena slammed the door in her face. “Kara—”

Alex returned pushing a wheeled tray. “Okay, I got everything!” She paused looking between them. “Guys, everything alright?”

“It's fine,” Kara said. “Let's get this done with.”

Lena watched quietly as Alex set up a lamp on the table, flipping a switch and bathing the room in red light. Kara shifted uncomfortably but said nothing as Alex gathered several vials and put on a pair of rubber gloves.

“I'll need his foot,” Alex said. She grabbed a retractable needle. Kara unwrapped the blanket to expose one tiny foot. “Okay, little stick.”

Alex's upper body blocked her view, but Lena knew as soon as it happened because the baby started crying. Alex worked for several long seconds while the baby squirmed and kicked.

“I know, I know. I'm sorry, buddy.” Kara pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Alex moved back. “That's it, I'm done.” She placed the full vials on the table. “So, have we broached the subject of what the next step is? What his name will be? Who wants to take him home?”

“Uh, not yet,” Kara said, glancing at her from the corner of her eye.

“Take him home?” Was it just her, or was her voice higher than normal. “Isn't it a little soon?”

“Well, I have plenty to work with here and there's no reason to keep him here. Plus, we're not exactly set up for childcare here. We ran out and grabbed some diapers and formula for the time being but he's gonna need more than we're equipped for.” Alex removed her rubber gloves. “You two talk about it. I'm going to go run these to the lab.” She gathered up her supplies and left.

“I know,” Kara said quietly after a few minutes.

“Hmm?” Lena prompted, unsure what Kara was referring to.

“What I want to name him,” Kara said, moving a tendril of dark hair back from his face. “Jax-El, in the tradition of my house. Plus, Jax could work for his Earth name, too.”

It was just another thing that Kara was prepared for that she wasn't. “Jax Danvers.” It had a certain ring to it.

“Danvers, not Luthor?” Kara asked, eyeing her intently.

She shrugged. “Honestly, you seem far better equipped to handle the situation than I am. I figure it would be for the best.”

“Are you going to want any part of this?” In anyone else, the words would sound pointed, but Kara said it like she genuinely wondered if Lena wanted any part of raising their son.

Oh, god. Their son.

“I—I don't know. This is all a little much. I just—I need time.” Maybe, with a little time, things wouldn’t seem so overwhelming.

Kara sighed. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”

Her phone beeped, making her jump. Checking the screen, she realized it was her alarm. “It's late. I should be getting home.”

“Right.”

Standing, Lena hovered awkwardly. “Call me, you know, if anything happens.”

Kara nodded.

When it became apparent that she wasn't going to offer anything else, Lena left the conference room. She spent the drive home leaving a detailed message for her secretary to push her meetings until after lunch and that she would be in late. Back in her apartment, she fell into bed, without changing and prayed for a dreamless sleep.

Too bad nobody up there was listening.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments everyone. Here's the next chapter!

“Okay, come on Jax.”

Kara shuffled down the hallway with her hands full. In one hand she held a dozing baby, the other arm laden with a grocery bag overstuffed with supplies. It wasn't heavy, not with her powers, but it was awkward to walk with it bouncing against her legs.

She tried to reach into her purse for her keys but as she did the plastic bag ripped, spilling the contents over the floor.

“Shoot!”

“Here, I got it.” Kara pivoted towards the voice and spotted her sister’s girlfriend coming towards her.

“Sam! What are you doing here?” Kara asked, trying to regain her grip on the bag.

Sam knelt to pick up a can of formula. “Your sister called and filled me in and I wanted to know if you needed any help settling in?” She stood, smiling softly, but Kara could read the quiet apprehension in her eyes.

Despite the increasing amount of time Alex was spending with Sam, Kara had barely seen her since she and Ruby had returned from Metropolis. Everytime Kara had extended the invitation for game night, Sam had found a reason to decline. Finally, she'd gotten the truth from Alex: Sam didn't know how to be around her once she'd discovered her identity and still felt guilty for Reign's actions.

No matter how many times Kara assured her that she didn't blame her, Sam had still kept her distance. Seeing her here, now, gave Kara hope that their friendship wasn't too far gone.

“I’m not one to turn down some help,” she said, returning the smile. There was a lot to do and she had been wondering how she was going to get it all done.

“Great! Here.” Sam grabbed the keys from her hand and opened the apartment door with ease.

“What needs to get done?” Sam asked as they passed the threshold, placing everything she was carrying onto the kitchen island and led her to the couch.

“I thought I’d start by clearing a cabinet in the kitchen. I’ll need the space for bottles and stuff.”

Sam propped her hands on her hips, surveying the apartment. “Then you should consider putting away some of the less baby-friendly items that could be reached.”

“Right, right.” Kara nodded along, making her own appraisal of the apartment.

She was realizing that there was so much she would need to change. When she looked at her sitting area she pictured the last game night they’d had—with James and Winn chest bumping in victory while she and Alex lamented by throwing popcorn—those nights would probably have to be put on hold for now. And her art corner. Her easel was probably easy to knock over and she had gotten into the habit of leaving open paint cans on the floor, that would all have to go.

Kara glanced at the clock and realized with a jolt that it was twenty minutes past the hour. “It’s about the time Alex said I should feed him.” She glanced down at Jax. He’d wriggled his arms out of the blanket while he slept and gripping a corner tightly to his chest. “Do I wake him, or should I let him sleep?”

“One thing I remember is that babies need to eat on schedule until they learn how to recognize that they’re hungry but we should change him before we feed him.” She headed for the supplies on the island.

“We should?”

“Alex said he’s been sleeping pretty much this entire time, right?” she asked. Kara nodded. “So, we change him to wake him up so he’s alert while he eats. Have you gotten to do this part before?”

“Uh, no.” Alex had changed all Jax’s previous diapers.

“Okay, let me show you.”

“Here, give him to me and then you can watch.” She opened her arms.

“Right, er, here.” Kara lifted him up to place him down but rather than holding Jax in the cradle of her arms, Sam put one hand under his head and arranged him so that Jax’s head was on her shoulder and one arm was supporting his bottom. In that position, she had one hand free, but Sam used it to gently rub his back in soothing circles. “Wow, you’re a pro.”

“You’ll get the hang of it,” she said, leaning her cheek against the side of Jax’s head. “Can you grab the diapers?” Sam sat at an angle on the end of the couch and laid Jax down across the rest of the cushions.

Kara searched through the bags she brought for the small package of diapers. “Here.”

“It’s not as hard as people make it sound…” Sam took her through the finer points of diaper changes, and in no time Jax was in a fresh diaper. He fussed a little from being woken from his nap, blinking blearily up at them, his little brow furrowed. “Hi there, Jax. He has your eyes.”

Kara flushed. She remembered how she felt when Jax had opened his eyes to show the world blue eyes in the same shade as Kara’s. It was an odd kind of pride, giving warmth to her chest and causing her eyes to water. It seemed that feeling could creep up on her again. “So, the bottle next, right?”

Sam nodded.

“I’ll go grab that.” The agent that bought the formula had gotten the premixed kind so all she had to do was affix a disposable nipple to the top. She ripped open the packaging and screwed on the nipple, wincing when she felt the ring slip over the ridges of the bottle top. Figuring there was nothing she could do about it, Kara headed for the baby.

“Your bottle is leaking,” Sam said, eyeing the bit of formula that was dripping out of the side.

“Yeah, uh, I think I tightened it too hard.” Damn super strength. Kara made herself comfortable on the couch and took the baby. She tilted the bottle into Jax's mouth and his little hands came up to grasp the bottle. “There we go.”

“He’s learning pretty quickly.” Sam sat at the other end of the couch, her elbow on the back and her head leaning on her hand.

Kara hummemed her agreement. Together, they watched as Jax guzzled the bottle. Kara barely had to hold it as he ate and when he was done, he pulled the bottle from his mouth and cooed up at her.

Kara laughed. “Was that good?”

Jax smiled.

Sam's brow furrowed. “Does he have teeth?”

“Yeah, eight, I think,” she said. Alex had commented on that as well. “He kept growing on the trip back.”

It was pretty overwhelming if she was being honest. He was only a day old, but he was the size of a six month old, but he should have already been nine months old. It would make her head hurt if she was able to have headaches on this planet.

“Hm, then he might also be ready for pureed foods.” Sam reached out and pushed Jax's hair back. “We should probably do a Target run to get a few essentials. Do you think you’re up for that?”

“Sure.” How hard could it be?

* * *

Hard. Very, very, hard.

Kara had to fly him to the store seeing as she didn’t have a car seat yet; just one of the many things she needed to procure in the future. Jax had been fine on the flight over, curled into her chest, babbling like he'd been talking to her for ages.

Listening to his voice had filled her with an off kind of pride and when they met Sam at the entrance, Jax babbled at her, too.

“Someone's talkative.” Sam pulled a cart from the columns of shopping carts near the front.

“Yeah, he just started that,” she replied, flashing him a smile.

“It's good. It means he’s absorbing the language he hears. I used to talk outloud to Ruby all the time.”

Kara smiled, happy to picture Sam wandering around with a young Ruby, talking about everything and nothing. “I’ll have to do that, then.”

The positive feelings that she’d been running on since Sam arrived vanished when they entered the store and Jax fell silent. They had barely made it past the dollar section when he stiffened in her arms and let out a sound of distress.

“What's the matter, buddy?” Kara shifted him in her arms until she was holding him the way Sam had him earlier. Immediately, Jax buried his head into the crook of her neck and relaxed. “There, I think he's good now.”

“Okay, let's head for the baby section.” Sam pushed the cart at a brisk pace.

Kara had never really paid attention to this department before but now that she was, she realized how much stuff there was marketed to parents; special drapes for shopping carts, little pieces of cloth designed to stop baby from peeing during diaper changes, crawling knee pads…

“Do people actually use these things?”

Sam nodded. “Some do, but a lot of this stuff you don't actually need.”

She kept eyeing the shelves and her eyes fell on the package for a device that was designed to let you suck out your baby's boogers through a straw. “Ugh, is that what I think it is?”

Sam followed Kara's gaze and laughed. “Yeah, it is. And don't knock it until you try it. Because that thing is a life saver when it's two a.m. and your kid is so congested he can't take a bottle, and all he can do is cry.”

Kara’s eyes widened. “Oh, jeez.”

Sam nodded solemnly but then she smirked, her nose wrinkling. “But it is still gross.”

A woman turned the corner into the aisle they were standing in, a little girl in the seat, singing loudly and beating her doll on the metal bar. Jax jolted upright, letting out a wail.

Kara began a rhythmic shushing. “It's okay, Jax, it's okay,” she murmured softly in his ear.

The other mother winced and mouthed 'sorry’ quickly grabbing a packet of saline wipes and maneuvering her cart away. Jax settled back down.

Sam led them through the food aisle pulling item after item off the shelves and adding it the cart. She grabbed a box of twelve bottles, all with travel caps; three canisters of the most expensive formula (“Trust me, this one is the best, he'll spit up less.”); a package of baby-sized forks and spoons; and a lots of jars of baby food and cereal snacks.

Jax began whining again, his head turning back and forth on her shoulder. They could hear a crowd of people in the media section two aisles over.

“I think it's the noise,” Kara whispered, laying a hand on the back of his head. She knew from experience how overwhelming Earth could be at times so she resumed her rhythmic shushing, hoping he would focus on her voice.

“We’ll make this quick,” Sam promised, pushing the cart with renewed purpose.

The next section was mostly diapers and Sam grabbed the biggest box of the appropriate size. “This should last you for a week or so.”

“A week?”

“Maybe two.”

Kara’s head was beginning to swim. She had no idea how Sam was discerning between brands, and she mentally keeping a tally of cost of their cart so far; baby supplies were _expensive_.

Sam added wipes, powder and a tube of diaper rash cream— “Just in case”—baby wash, shampoo and detergent went in next, followed by a pack of cloth diapers.

“I thought that was what the box was for.” She inclined her head to the box on the rack at the bottom of the cart.

“These you use like washcloths.” Sam took a hard look at their cart. “I think that’s enough to get you by for a while. But you’ll still need the big items. Oh, we need to get him some clothes, too.”

Jax’s whining escalated to straight out crying as the store got busier; it seemed that the morning Rush was beginning. Kara tried wiping his tears but he swatted her hand away. “I don’t know how much more he can handle.” She was starting to get anxious. Was it okay for babies to cry this long?

“You can get him to quieter ground and I’ll just pick out a few things for him,” Sam said.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Yeah, he’ll probably fit into nine-to-twelve-month stuff so I’ll just get some onesies and then we can go.”

Relief washed over her. “Let me give you my card.” Kara reached for her wallet but she fumbled the zipper and it fell to the floor. “Oops.” She bent over and Jax gave a particularly angry wail at being jostled.

Sam waved her off, grabbing the wallet. “Go, go, I got this!”

Kara exited the store as fast as she could while keeping her movements at human speed. Jax's discomfort increased when they passed the registers, which were beginning to form a crowd. She sped up, reaching the parking lot only to find a car alarm going off somewhere in the distance.

Jax was now crying so loud, his face was turning red.

“Crap, crap, crap.”

Because of his kryptonian genes, he was probably experiencing some of sensory overload but Kara was at a loss for how to lessen the input he experienced.

She’d had a leg up because she’d been older and the Danvers gave her the lead lined glasses but she couldn’t expect a baby to keep on a pair of glasses. She considered calling her cousin to see if he had any ideas but then she remembered that he grew up on a farm and probably didn’t have to deal with any of this while he grew up.

With nothing coming to mind to help soothe Jax, Kara took to the sky, flying upwards until the noise of the city fell away. She rubbed his back, murmuring comforting noises softly into the open air. It took a few moments, but eventually Jax's cries quieted down. His tears finally stopped, and he settled in her arms until he was curled against her.

Kara sighed in relief. Grabbing her phone from her pocket, she texted Sam her debit card PIN and let her know that she was going to take Jax home. She got back an affirmative, letting her know that Sam was already in line and would meet her back at her apartment.

She took another look at Jax. His breathing was still ragged, his tiny body shuddering with every breath, but it looked like Jax actually managed to fall asleep. Kara felt her heart break for him.

She needed Alex.

* * *

Lena crossed the entryway of her office, her heels clicking rhythmically against the stone floor. She’d had a hellish sleep with dreams of her mother, her birth mother, and a bundled blanket in her arms. After, the image had morphed into one of Kara with Jax, clad in her Supergirl uniform, looking at her with resigned disappointment. Her phone beeping with an incoming email had woken her and she saw no reason to try and sleep after that.

When she reached the desk right outside her office, her assistant, Jess, rose from her seat. “Ms. Luthor, I thought you weren’t coming in until late afternoon.” She punctuated her statement with a frown.

“I was, but I managed to finish up quickly.” It was technically true; she'd finished sleeping after only three and a half hours.

Jess sighed. “I’ll have a latte sent up for you right away.”

Lena grimaced. She wondered if other CEO’s had to deal with their assistant’s judging their lack of work/life balance. “Thanks.”

Entering her office, Lena dropped her purse under her desk and took her seat. There was plenty to do today, there always was, and she planned to lose herself in it like she'd been doing g for the past several weeks.

She set herself to work, only looking up from her laptop when Jess dropped off her coffee. “Ms. Luthor, Sam Arias is here.” Lena opened her mouth to ask Jess to take a message but Jess spoke over her. “She has food.”

Lena pressed her lips into a thin line. She considered protesting but her stomach chose that moment to remind her that she’d skipped dinner the previous night. “I suppose I have a few minutes.”

Grabbing the cup Jess had given her, she took a long pull of coffee, letting the piping hot liquid sting her tongue and propel her into a higher level of wakefulness.

Sam breezed in with a takeout box in her hands. “I brought you a chicken wrap.” She placed the box on her desk and took a seat in one on the chairs facing her.

Lena opened the box, her mouth watering at the sight of the wrap from her favorite deli. “Thank you, Sam.”

“How are you?” Sam was never one to beat around the bush.

She sighed, shutting the box. Fucking Alex Danvers. “You’ve heard.”

“I met him.”

Lena’s breath caught in her throat. “That was quick.”

“I stopped by and helped Kara on a Target run.” Sam leaned forward and flipped the lid of the styrofoam box up, stealing a fry.

“I’m sure she loved that.” She could just imagine Kara excitedly picking out tiny pastel outfits. She picked at the food, selecting her own french fry.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far. We couldn’t do much before she had to leave.”

Lena paused, her hand halfway to her lips. “Leave?”

“Jax was crying like he was in pain. Kara took him home right away.”

“What do you mean?” Worry settled over her as her pulse quickened.

“I don’t know…” She recounted what happened at the store. “I took everything back to her apartment and he was asleep on her couch. But Kara was looking a bit frazzled.”

“On the couch?” That didn't seem like the safest place for a baby.

“She hasn’t had a chance to get a crib and I was only able to pick up food, diapers, and a handful of clothes. Well,” she said, standing up. “I should probably let you get back. I'm sure my inbox is full by now.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

Sam left her office with a wave and a soft 'call me later’ and Lena watched her go, her mind reeling. Jax was experiencing some sort of sensory overload, most likely due to his kryptonian biology. She knew a few things that dulled kryptonian senses due to her research from when she was trying to separate Sam from Reign.

Lena shook her head to stop that line of thinking. For all the shit she got for her experiments to save Sam, Kara wouldn’t allow her to make something for her son. Besides, Kara probably knew some way to help him adjust his hearing.

Still, her brain was processing the problem and formed a viable solution. She might be able to adapt her idea in the future to sell on behalf of LCorp.

Lena pressed the button on her office phone that activated her intercom. “Jess, can you clear my schedule? I’m going to be in R&D for the rest of the day.”

“Right away, Ms, Luthor. Should I let them know you’re on your way down?”

She looked at her laptop and remembered what else Sam had mentioned Kara was dealing with. “Actually, let them know I’ll be down in about a half hour; there’s something I need to take care of first.” There was still a way for her to contribute.

* * *

Kara tried to balance her cellphone on her shoulder but she could feel it slipping. She had Jax in one hand, her other trying to scoop powdered formula into a bottle—a difficult task when he was squirming and crying. “I know, buddy, I know.”

Jax had been crying non-stop since he woke up from his nap after their short trip to Target. Sam had met them back with the supplies and, while he slept, together they were able to find space for all the things they'd picked up. But then, Sam had to leave to work and even though she closed the door with the least amount of noise she could, the sound of her cell phone ringing when she was halfway through threshold had been enough to wake him.

Kara tensed her muscles, trying to get a better grip on the phone, but she miscalculated and felt her screen crack. “Fudge!”

“Kara, everything okay?” Her sister had finally picked up.

“I cracked my screen,” she said forlornly.

“Again?”

“I don't know, Alex. Are you coming over soon?” It was after six in the evening and she was still waiting for Alex.

“Kara, I’m trying but there's a lot going on here.” Kara could hear the exhaustion in her sister's voice and she remembered that Alex hadn't been home since the previous morning.

Kara felt a pang of guilt. “I know, I'm sorry. I haven't had a moment to patrol.”

“Kara, no. you've got a lot of your plate, that's why we're here, to pick up the slack.”

“But—”

“No 'buts’. I'll try and stop by later with the Otoacoustic Emissions Machine to measure his hearing.”

Kara looked down at the bottle she was preparing. “We have to figure something out.”

“Did you try giving him your glasses?”

“Yeah, he threw them off immediately.” She checked the water she was warming in the small bottle warmer but it was still room temperature. It was taking too long.

Pulling the bottle from the tepid water, Kara looked over her glasses and shot a small beam of her heat vision into the bottle just as there was a knock at the door. Kara jumped, over shooting the heat vision and lasering a hole through the bottle. “No, no, no!”

“What is it? What happened?” Alex was panicking.

Jax flailed, his hands tugging at his ears.

“I ruined a bottle and someone is at my door.”

“Oh.”

Frustrated, she dumped the ruined bottle in the sink and headed for the door. She was careful not wrench it off its hinges though it was a difficult thing—Jax’s crying was affecting her own super hearing and it was making it difficult to concentrate.

“Kara Danvers?” A ups delivery guy was in front of her with a tablet. He seemed unperturbed that she was on the phone, holding a crying baby.

“Uh, yeah?”

He rifled through messenger bag at his side. “I have a package that requires your signature.”

“But I didn't order anything.”

“I'm just following instructions. Sign here.” He held up a tablet and a stylus.

Kara took the pen and signed her name. The delivery guy took back the stylus and stepped to the side of the door, pulling a dolly into view that was piled high with boxes.

“Okay, where do you want em?”

“What? I thought it was only one?”

Alex piped in. “What is it Kara?”

“Just the one required the signature,” the delivery guy said, tapping his foot impatiently.

Kara spoke into the phone. “There's a guy here with a bunch of packages that I didn't order.” She looked at him. “Who are these from?”

“Don't know.” He pushed the dolly into the entryway and began unloading the boxes.

Any further protest was cut off by the fact that Jax needed to eat. Kara kept an eye on the growing mountain of packages as she got a new bottle and set it to warm. When the packages where up to her chest, the delivery guy nodded in farwell and closed the door behind him.

When the bottle was finished she handed it over. Jax settled down as he began eating and Kara went to inspect the delivery.

The boxes varied in sizes from one that fit in her hand to several that we're almost as long and twice as wide as she was. Several of the boxes had pictures on the contents on the front; she spotted a car seat and stroller set, a crib, rocking chair, and swing. The smaller boxes were simple white, nondescript boxes and closer investigation showed blue tape decorated with a variety of baby items: rattles, teddy bears, and bottles. She couldn't see any return labels, just printed barcodes.

She picked the box closest the the top, hooking her finger under the tape where the top met the side, and ripped it easily. She opened the box, tossing aside the brown crinkle packing paper and found pacifiers in various colors and plenty of bandana bibs. The next few boxes revealed more items in the same vein; more bottles, clothes, and even a diaper bag.

Her phone beeped in her hand. Checking the screen, Kara felt her stomach do a somersault when she saw a message from a number she hadn't received word from in months. “Lena.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween

_Lena Luthor: I picked up just a few things for Jax, they should be over shortly._

Kara stared at the message again before her eyes slid over to her response. _It’s all here, thank you. You’re amazing._

She’d sent her response hours ago. It wasn’t like her comments required a response but she was still hoping...

For a wild moment, Kara had wondered if her phone was working but that had been debunked when James called to check in since she hadn't shown up at work and he hadn't seen Supergirl around the city. She'd managed to give him the gist of the situation without mentioning that Lena was involved and he'd arranged for her to take a leave from CatCo, beginning immediately.

“Kara, did this come with instructions?” Her sister’s voice pulled her from her preoccupation and she jerked her head up to see Alex scratching her head, surrounded by the still disassembled crib.

“Uh,” she replied. In truth, she hadn’t been paying attention.

To the left of her, Sam waved a paper packet. “I got them.” She tossed them to Alex.

After the windfall of boxes had appeared at her door, Alex was able to delegate the rest of her duties and she promised to be over within the hour. When she finally had showed up, Sam and Ruby were with her, and the three of them had begun sifting through all the new baby gear.

“Thanks, babe.” Alex flipped through the instructions before finding whatever she was looking for. She picked up a section of railing and a pile of screws. “Leave it to Lena to buy out National CIty’s most expensive baby boutique and choose the world’s most complicated crib.”

Sam’s nose wrinkled. “I don’t think ease of assembly was on her radar when she bought it.”

Alex continued grumbling as she screwed in the sides of the crib. “Stupid, overpriced...”

Kara chuckled. She could have easily put the crib together by herself but Alex had insisted.

“Kara, look! He’s sitting up by himself!” Ruby squealed, gesticulating wildly to the baby on her lap in the armchair, the little boy sitting up.

“Oh, wow!” Kara straightened up in her seat and quickly snapped a picture.

Jax swayed with the effort of holding his own head up, most of his weight held on his arms. When he saw Kara looking his way, he smiled and cooed. She felt a thrill of affection. It was incredible how happy he seemed. She wasn’t exactly surprised; he’d been feeling a lot better since they’d opened one of the surprise packages and discovered a very expensive noise cancelling machine.

The moment she saw it, she'd dropped everything, except Jax, and set up the machine in the living room. With an insertion of the plug and a flip of the switch, the room had been filled with a new sound that mixed with the ambient noise outside and effectively blocked out the city.

Kara knew that it was designed to cancel out the noise for human ears but she was still able to discern the antiphase sound with her more experienced hearing. It wasn't a perfect solution by far—if she moved Jax too far from the device he became fussy again—but it was a define improvement. It was uncomfortable for her. She was able to focus around the new sound but the city was blocked from her unless she strained. But Jax's cries had quieted and Kara knew that she would withstand any amount of discomfort if Jax was soothed.

“Here,” Kara said, opening her arms. “Let me hold him for a bit.” Ruby gripped Jax under his arms and stood, hopping over to deposit the baby in her lap. Kara wrapped an arm around his chest and pulled him close, nuzzling the top of his head. “Hi, baby.”

Rather than return to her seat, Ruby pulled out her phone and began videoing, circling around Alex’s workspace. “And here we have a lesbian in her natural state: assembling furniture.”

Alex chuckled and stuck her tongue out at the camera. “Brat!”

“Ruby,” Sam said warningly, trying to hide a smile of her own.

The rest of the night passed in much the same way. Ruby and Alex ribbed each other good-naturedly while they assembled and placed Kara's new rocking chair, changing table, and playpen. Ruby documented Jax’s various smiles and sounds on her phone, Sam complained about a problem with a subsidiary of LCorp that would require her attention out of town for a few days, and Alex ordered pizza while Kara washed all Jax's new bottles and laundered his new clothes.

By the time the clock struck eleven, Jax was asleep in his new crib with the noise machine plugged in beside it, and Kara was herding the Arias family (plus Alex) out the door. Ruby tried to stifle a yawn as she gave Kara a half-hearted wave. Sam gave her a brief hug and led Ruby down the hall with an arm over her shoulder.

Alex paused by the door. “So, mom called me today.”

Kara felt her stomach do a somersault. “Rao. Did you tell her?”

Alex shook her head. “I figure it would be better coming from you.”

“Thanks for that.” How would that conversation go? Hi, Eliza, long time no talk. By the way, I have a baby now.

“I'm serious, Kara. Call her. It's good news. This is something she'll want to hear from you.” There was a tightness around her sister's eyes that she couldn't quite place.

“I will.” Kara hugged her sister and closed the door as quietly as she could.

Facing away from the door, she took in the changes to her apartment that had occurred in such a short time. First was the kitchen. There was a plastic drying rack in the shape of a tree beside her sink, bottles already adorning it's branches. Powdered formula and baby food were stacked above her fridge, the overflow from what wouldn't fit in her cupboard, and a new high chair at level with the kitchen island.

Kara stepped forward, moving through the living room. All of her art supplies had been put into boxes and stacked against the wall—she’d have to find somewhere to put those soon—and all of her furniture had been rearranged to accommodate a few extra seating pieces from her bedroom. A baby swing was now set up in the corner, and there was a free-standing jumper set up beside her couch.

Kara went through the archway separating her living room from her bedroom. Jax's crib was against the foot of her bed where her bench had been previously and the chair by her window had been replaced by a sleek, new, rocking chair. A changing table was squeezed in next to her closet and it's shelves were full of freshly washed linens. There was a pile of clothes on the bed from where she had emptied some of her drawers to make room for Jax's clothes, she'd have to get more hangers and try and redistribute the excess into her closet.

It seemed overwhelming, too much, way too fast, but then she heard Jax's soft snoring. She stood at the edge of the crib, watching his little chest rise and fall, and she found herself not caring any longer. Figuring it wouldn't be right to procrastinate any longer, Kara pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed.

Eliza picked up on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Eliza, hi.” Kara wandered back for the living room.

“Kara, dear, are you alright? You usually don't call so late.”

"Yeah, I actually have some news. Good news."

If Eliza was shocked by her news, she covered it well. There was a moment of silence before she asked, “So when do I get to meet my grandson?”

Kara released the breath she'd been holding in a chuckle. "Soon, I promise."

They chatted for a few minutes more and they ended the call with Kara promising to forward all the pictures she had of Jax before she went to bed.

Kara sent all the photos she had of Jax, getting an immediate response in the form of a heart emoji and an emphatic ‘ _he's beautiful!!!_ ’ She smiled, thinking about how lucky she was to have someone like Eliza in her life.

Thinking about Eliza brought her thoughts to her own mother. No matter how happy she was at discovering that her mother was still alive, things between them we're still rather stilted. Kara couldn't reconcile the person her mother was in her memories with the decisions she'd made that cost Krypton, cost Kara, everything. She knew her mother sensed it too, it's why she didn't push her to re-establish their relationship. But, maybe, this was something they could share. She'd have Brainy send out a transmission in the morning.

The enormity of the day weighed on her. Changing into her pajamas, Kara fell into bed, unconscious immediately.

* * *

 

“Ms. Luthor?”

Lena paused, a soldering gun in one hand, a circuit in the other. Turning off the tool and setting it to the side, she flexed her fingers to banish the slight cramping before lifting her face shield. It took a moment for her eyes to focus so she blinked as she surveyed the previously empty lab. BY the lab’s entrance, there was one of her security team, Anderson, if she was remembering correctly.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” It had been hard to hear over the crackle and sizzle of melting metal.

The guard smiled wryly. “Just checking in ma’am. It’s past midnight.”

“I’m fine. Just finishing up a project.” More like just starting a project. She spent the first several hours here working up schematics and it was only in the last hour that she was beginning to build up the prototype. She still needed to write some software to regulate the sounds, find a good casing material, and test it.

He frowned, taking in the state of her workstation. She knew what he was seeing; stale baggies of chips and empty water bottles scattered around. “If you don’t mind me asking, when’s the last time you took a break?”

What was with her staff and judging her work habits? Had she gotten that bad? “It’s been a while,” she admitted. “I suppose right now is a good enough time for a break.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” He inclined his head and left the lab.

Lena sighed, standing from her stool and wincing when she realized how stiff her body truly was. Okay, maybe she hadn’t taken a break since she started this whole endeavor. She rolled her shoulders back, straightening her spine from leaning over the desk for so long, and cracked her neck to relieve the tension. Feeling adequately limber, she grabbed her phone, intent on going for a walk to the cafeteria for some coffee.

Unlocking her screen, she was not surprised to see that she had a number of notifications. There were a dozen or so emails, most of them from Jess regarding the appointments she’d rescheduled from the next few days. She had a few texts from Eve with choices for durable, yet comfortable casings for the device. Lena had to admit, poaching Eve from CatCo had been one of the best things to come out of that whole debacle. Last on her phone was a notification of a Snapchat from Ruby.

She smiled as she set the coffee maker to work. She was always happy to get messages from Ruby. They had gotten rather close when she’d hidden the girl from Reign and they’d maintained it ever since. Every few days, Ruby would send various videos and selfies of her antics with her friends. Sometimes Sam would feature, and lately, Alex as well.

Clicking the small ghost icon, she waited until the application loaded. Her eyes drifted from the circling icon next to Ruby’s name down to the only other contact she had. Kara Danvers. She hadn’t received a snap from Kara since before her identity was revealed but for some reason, she couldn’t find it in herself to purge her from her contact list.

The coffee maker signaled her finished cup and Lena took the beverage to one of the armchairs on the corner, curling up and tucking her feet beneath her. Returning her attention to her phone, Lena pressed the view button to see the first picture. It was a selfie of Ruby at school with the puppy filter. Next, a picture of an open notebook with algebraic equations and a crying emoji. Lena chuckled and hit the screen to reveal the next one.

She nearly spit out a mouthful of coffee.

It was a selfie of Ruby in Kara’s apartment, Lena recognized the squishy armchair, and there was Jax in her lap. His little face was scrunched in a wide smile. He was dressed in a blue striped onesie and seemed much more alert than the last time Lena had seen him. Overall, he looked much happier from what she last heard from Sam.

Did that mean the noise cancelation machine she’d chosen was working? She debated texting Kara. She’d never replied to the thank you she received earlier, it wouldn’t be odd to text back asking if it worked out.

While she was pondering that course of action, the photo expired and a video began playing with Ruby narrating. “ _And here we have a lesbian in her natural habitat.”_

Lena chuckled, watching the rest of the scene play out. But then Ruby panned away from Alex to Kara on the couch with Jax. It was just a moment, but Lena could see Kara snuggling him, another smile on the baby’s face.

Watching the moment left her feeling hollow. She remembered what it felt like to be in that living room. She could still picture herself there, occupying the space between Sam and Kara with ease, a glass of wine in her hands. She would say something that would set Kara off with uproarious laughter and the blonde would throw her arms around her shoulders, sloshing her wine, and it would fill her up with warmth—

She sighed. But it wasn't just that. Watching Kara with Jax left her feeling a bit envious.

Kara's easy acceptance was one thing, but she looked like such a natural with a baby in her arms. She had been right to think that Kara was far better equipped for a child than she'd ever be. The Luthors hardly ever shared any tender touches, and she hardly had any memories of positive parenting from her birth mother. She doubted she could ever give affection so easily.

Abandoning her coffee, Lena headed back to her lab. She had more work to do.

* * *

 

Jax was crying.

Opening her eyes, Kara got out of bed. It was just after midnight and she hadn't gotten a chance to drift all the way off to sleep yet. “What's wrong baby?”

Tears wet his cheeks but that was the only place he was wet. She reached out a hand to wipe them away from his face. She knew the noise machine was still working—she could still feel how her own hearing was lightly obscured. She picked him up, rubbing his back.

“Did you have a bad dream?” She paced the length of her room, rhythmically shushing, and bouncing.

When that didn't work she made him a small bottle. She settled in the rocking chair, holding him with one hand and the bottle in the other. Jax eager began gulping down the formula.

“There we go. Were you just hungry?” She of course got no answer but the ravenous suckling.

She sighed in relief with the absence of crying. She watched him finished the bottle, her relief fading when she realized he wasn't drifting off like she'd expected but was becoming more and more alert.

Jax babbled, his voice increasing in volume when she didn't respond right away. She was able to wait him out while she rocked him in the new rocking chair. When she finally laid him down again, she glanced at the clock, quietly groaning when she realized it was after one a.m. She hit the mattress face down and tried to get back to sleep…

“WaaAAAH.”

Her eyes snapped open. She pushed herself up on her arms. How long had she been asleep? It only felt like a moment.

Three-fifteen. Great.

“Jax, what's going on?” She mumbled, getting up.

Unlike before, his diaper was wet so she gathered the needed supplies. She had him on the changing table, new diaper in hand, and opened the one he was wearing. She turned to open the top of the wipe-warmer when the front of her shirt felt suddenly wet.

“Oh, geez! Ugh!” She used her hands to block the stream. When it died down she was wet, Jax was wet, and the new diaper was ruined.

She took off her shirt, balling it up and tossing it in her hamper. “Okay, shower? Uh…” How did people even give babies showers? She read somewhere that newborns weren't supposed to be submerged in water for at least ten days. Did that still apply here?

She compromised by stripping Jax of his onesie and wiping him down with a warm washcloth. He, apparently, did not like that, and began crying harder than ever. She got the new diaper on him but he fought her when she tried to put a new onesie on him. She was able to get his arms and head through but gave up on doing up the buttons on the bottom.

Kara grabbed herself a new shirt after wiping herself down, making a mental note to try and jump in the shower when Jax went back to sleep.

Luckily, he went down easier this time and she was able to hop into and out of the shower in record time.

“Okay, maybe this time I can get some sleep,” she murmured, climbing back into bed.

But Jax crying exactly two hours later let her know that she was not going to be getting any more sleep. By the time seven a.m. rolled around, she figured she should just give up and start the day.

She gave him another bottle, which he promptly spit up all over her. Another change of clothes for the both of them and they were back on track. Sam had mentioned that babies needed stimulation so she set Jax up in the swing and let him watch the circling mobile while she made herself some food.

Eventually, her phone rang. She saw her sister's name on the screen. “Hey, Alex.”

“Hey, just checking on you.” Kara could hear the distinct chatter of the DEO in the background.

“I'm—” she blew out a breath. “Exhausted. Jax cried all night long.”

“Really? He was sleeping so often before.”

“He was up like every two and half hours.” She rubbed her forehead with her free hand.

“Maybe it's because of the pod. He spent that extra three months sleeping, maybe his body is just trying to readjust. You should know.”

“Yeah maybe.” She hadn't wanted to sleep when she first arrived with the Danvers. She had said it was because she'd spent the last twenty-four years sleeping but really she just didn't want to see the nightmares. That had lasted about two weeks before she'd collapsed due to exhaustion. “Do you think you’re gonna drop by tonight?”

“Sorry, Kara. I can't. Sam is going out of town and I'm watching Ruby. She has soccer practice after school, then homework. Plus, she has school tomorrow and I can't keep her out late.”

“Oh, that's right.” She remembered Sam mentioning that last night.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

She sucked in a deep breath. “Yeah, I'll be totally fine.”

* * *

 

That turned out to be a complete lie.

Her second night turned out much like her first and and her second day passed with only slight variations. Like doing three loads of laundry because Jax spit up on all of his clothes. She only got a few sporadic texts from Alex, most of her sister's attention turned to an emergency at the DEO. Kara had itched to go and help but Alex told her to stay put—The Martian Manhunter and Dreamer were lending a hand.

Usually when she was forced to stay up for long periods of time, she was able to supplement her energy by absorbing more solar energy. She'd tried to open a window to let the direct sunlight in but Jax had grasped his ears and begun wailing. She didn't bother with the windows after that.

Day three was spent doing more laundry and nearly having a heart attack when Jax rolled over on the couch and nearly fell to the floor. By the fourth day, Kara was walking around in a haze. She'd fed Jax, who was now happily napping in his swing, and she was looking at her nearly empty fridge, debating on whether or not she wanted to spend her time assembling an actual meal or if she just wanted to sit on the couch with the box of cinnamon toast crunch she had on top of the fridge.

A soft knock at her door grabbed yet attention. Shuffling over, she threw the door open and blinked at the person in front of her. “Eliza?”

Her foster mother was standing in her doorway, a duffle bag slung over her slender shoulder. She looked happy but tired from travel. “Hi, sweetheart.” She didn't hesitate to step forward and wrap her arms around her.

Kara lamely returned the hug. “Please don't get me wrong, I’m happy to see you, but what are you doing here?” Eliza didn't often leave Midvale, her research took up much of her time.

“Your sister hadn't heard from you in a couple of days and she was beginning to panic.”

“Alex? I just talked to her yesterday.” Or was it the day before? “What day was it?”

“I happened to call at the right time and convince her that it was completely normal for a new parent to drop off the map. I told her I'd come lend you a hand.”

She debated denying that she needed help but looking at Eliza, she let her shoulders sag as she stepped aside. “Thank you so much.”

Eliza chuckled and patted her arm. “Don't worry, dear. Everyone goes through this. Now, where is my grandson?”

Kara pointed to the swing, taking Eliza's bag. “Over there.”

Eliza crossed the apartment, and shut off the swing. She waited for the oscillating to stop before scooping Jax up. “Oh, he's a big boy!”

Kara chuckled. “Yeah.”

Jax chose that moment to open his eyes, woken by the sudden movement. Realizing that he was not in Kara's arms, he blinked dreamily up at Eliza, his brow drawn into a searching expression. Whatever he was looking for, he seemed to find because he broke out into a wide smile.

“Well, hello Jax-El, it's a pleasure to meet you,” Eliza said. Kara felt a swell of pride at hearing the family name.

Jax cooed at her.

“There we go.” Eliza smiled.

Kara settled herself on the couch to watch as Eliza spoke soft assurances of happiness and love to the baby. It was heartening to see Jax accepted so openly by the people in her life. It almost made the last few sleepless nights worth it...

“Kara, honey, when was the last time you showered or slept?”

“Hm?” She opened her eyes. When had she closed them? Eliza's words finally filtered through her brain. “What?” She looked down at herself and noticed that the clothes she was wearing were covered in various stains. Totally gross. “Oh, sorry. I've just been distracted I guess.”

“You don't need to explain. I remember how hard it was with Alex because Jeremiah was studying on the other side of the country.” She sighed wistfully. “Go ahead, shower, put on some clean clothes. I'll order some food, too.”

“Are you sure?” Jax was a lot of work and if she was having a hard time, then surely Eliza would.

Eliza, it seemed, didn't have the same reservations. “Yes, yes, now go.”

Kara stood. “Okay, but Jax should eat in about twenty minutes, he takes five ounces but only two scoops of formula or else it's too rich and he'll spit—”

“Five ounces, two scoops, got it.”

She gestured to his changing table. “His diapers are over—”

Again, Eliza interrupted her. “Kara, I've taken care of babies before.”

“Okay, but—”

Eliza pushed her towards her bathroom. “Kara Zor-El, you need to go, this instant!” The laugh at the end undercut any bite the admonishment had.

Giggling, Kara did as she was told.

She stood under the spray, letting the hot water wash away the days of no sleep. She took her time washing her hair, letting the shampoo and conditioner sit before rinsing it out. When there was no longer a reason for her to stay under the water and her eyelids were threatening to dropped under the comforting temperature.

Kara dried off and rifled through her dresser for a clean shirt and pair of sweats. She was toweling her hair dry when voices filtered through to her room. Padding back to the living room, Kara tossed the damp towel on top of her hamper.

“Eliza, is that the food?” She was starving. She spotted Jax back in his swing, sucking happily on the edge of a washcloth.

“Kara, look who stopped by.” Eliza stepped to the side, revealing the newcomer, Lena Luthor, standing awkwardly in her doorway.

Kara froze. “Lena! Uh, hi.”

Lena had her hair twisted into a tight bun, dressed in a killer turquoise dress and heels. She had a briefcase at her side, her other hand grasping the strap of her purse on her shoulder. “I'm sorry to intrude, I just came to drop something off. I should let you go.” She deposited the briefcase on Kara's table.

Before Kara could say anything, Eliza pulled Lena into the room and closed the door. “Nonsense, come on in.”

Lena's eyes widened as she was drawn further into the apartment, searching out Kara for help. Kara couldn't help but smile. Eliza had heard all about Lena from Kara in the past, their calls filled with stories about their interview and game nights, and she'd always expressed her desire to meet her.

“I've heard all about you from my girls and I'm so glad we finally get the chance to meet.”

Their eyes met over Eliza's shoulder and Kara could read the more within them. Your mother doesn't know what happened, does she?

Kara cleared her throat. “Yeah, uh, well—”

Thankfully, Lena covered for her. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Danvers. I've heard nothing but good things about you as well.”

Kara let out a breath.

“You said you came to drop something off?” Eliza asked when it became clear Kara wasn't going to offer anything else.

Lena grabbed the briefcase, opening the lid to reveal two small devices that looked indistinguishable from hearing aids except they were slimmer. “I made earpieces for Jax to help with his sensory input.”

“You what?” Kara asked, feeling a swell of emotion for her.

“Well, I heard that he had trouble with sensory overload so I designed these to filter out sounds by distance.” She pulled one out and pointed to a dial. “They're adjustable so that the input can be increased or lessened based on the situation.”

Eliza looked impressed. “That's very thoughtful.”

“Lena,” Kara started, her voice thick. “You already sent over the noise canceling machine.”

“I knew that would only be temporary. You couldn't exactly take it with you outside of this apartment. This seemed like a better solution.”

Kara was speechless. “Thank you.”

“It'll probably take some adjusting to find a comfortable setting, but there's instructions in here for that.”

“Did you want to try them on him?” Kara asked. From experience she knew that Lena preferred to conduct her own field tests.

There was only a moment of hesitation. “Sure.”

Kara led the way over to the swing, unbuckling him and pulling out into her arms. Lena stood stiffly beside the couch, opting instead to perch on the coffee table.

Jax babbled, shaking the washcloth in his fist before holding it out to Lena.

“Oh,” she gasped, surprised by the gesture.

“Jax, sweetie, no,” Kara said, rearranging him in her arms to free a hand to grab the washcloth.

Before she could take it, Lena reached out and gently took the washcloth from Jax's outstretched hand. “Thank you,” she said quietly. Kara saw Lena's throat bob slightly as she swallowed. “He's bigger.”

“Is he?” Kara twisted to examine him but Jax looked the same as ever.

“It's hard to tell when you spend every waking moment with them,” Eliza said. “But I knew he weighed more than than Alex said he did at birth.”

Kara shrugged, lifting Jax to try and measure his weight. “I can't tell.”

“I'm sure superstrength makes it hard to judge small changes in his weight,” Lena said, turning her attention to the earpieces.

“Right.” She forced a laugh.

Eliza watched them both, her eyes flitting back and forth. “So, Jax?”

Lena switched gears first. “Right…”

It didn't take long for Lena to take them through the finer points of the devices. She showed them how to attach them to Jax's ears and how to adjust the device. “He can pull them off if he really wants to so watch out but I'm hoping he'll get used to them and then with practice, he can grow out of them.”

Jax watched Lena with wide eyes during the entire process, holding still when she placed the devices on his ears, and babbling throughout her explanation. Now as she pulled back, he reached up to feel what she'd been doing but left them intact.

“Okay, here goes nothing.” Lena rose, heading for the noise canceling machine on the side table, switching it off.

Kara sighed in relief at the lack of annoying tone hindering her hearing. She looked at Jax but he was tracking Lena, no obvious signs of distress. “Let's try opening the window.”

Lena threw open the nearest window. Immediately, Kara could hear an influx of sound from the city, carried in by the wind. Lena watched Jax carefully but there was no changes to the baby's mood.

“It seems to be working well at the moment,” Eliza said, taking Jax from Kara.

Lena nodded. “Yes, before we can say for certain he will need to go outside to see how it works with larger crowds but for now I'd say it's a tentative success.”

“Why don't we wait until later for a second test run?” Eliza said. “Kara you should go get some sleep.”

“I'm fine.” And she was. She felt energized after her shower and she should be fine now that they could open up the windows. Mostly she was just starving.

“You haven't slept in three days,” Eliza pressed.

Lena looked surprised. “What?”

“It's just been an adjustment. But I'm fine, I swear.”

“If you won't sleep then you at least need some sun.”

“Eliza, I'll be fine—”

“Young lady, you look like that time we went to Las Vegas and you nearly passed out because you spent all your time without sunlight in the hotel.”

Kara flushed. That had been an awkward way to end a family vacation—with Alex carrying a half conscious Kara through a casino and throwing her out into the front lawn. “Fine, I'll go outside for a bit, maybe grab something to eat.”

“I'll go with you.”

Kara turned so quickly she would have gotten a crick in her neck if she'd been human. Lena was staring at her intently. Kara could hear the spike in her pulse. It was unusual for Lena to initiate close contact with her since the rift had begun. She had no idea if there was some ulterior reason that Lena wanted to accompany her but she wasn't going to question it.

“I'll go get changed.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay. This was a tough one.

She didn't know what made her say it. It was probably the way Eliza was trying to mother Kara into taking a break and she knew that if she offered, Kara wouldn’t say no.

So now there were standing on the steps outside of Kara's apartment building after Eliza practically pushed them out the door with, “ _don't bring her back for at least an hour,_ ” whispered in her ear.

“Where do you want to eat?” Lena turned to see Kara had stopped on the top step, her head thrown back and her eyes closed as she soaked up the rays of the sun.

Kara hummed, seeming to come alive the longer she stayed there. Lena was mesmerized, her own gaze drifting from the column of Kara's neck, to the pink in her cheeks that bloomed in the light and the way her hair even seemed to become more vibrant. And then she realized she was staring.

She cleared her throat. “Kara?”

“Anywhere that has an outside table.” Kara still hadn't opened her eyes.

“No preference?”

“Not right now.”

“So, there's this upscale restaurant I've been meaning to try that has these tiny plates—”

Kara’s eyes flew open. “Okay, okay, let's go get pizza.”

“That's what I thought.”

They ended up at a little Italian place that she knew Kara frequented, the smell of baking bread and garlic hitting her nose as they entered. There was a hostess at the entrance, a college age girl, her focus turned to the smartphone she was partially concealing on the hostess stand.

She looked up at them as they approached, placing a menu on top of the device. “Table for two?”

“Outside, please,” Lena said.

“Of course!” She led them out to a tiny patio in the back of the restaurant. “Is this going to be alright?” The table was tiny, barely big enough for the two of them, and completely covered by the shade from a nearby umbrella.

“This is fine,” Lena said, hanging her purse on the corner of the chair. They were the only ones sitting out in the cramped terrace so there was no one to object when Kara pushed the umbrella away so that their table was exposed to the sun. Well, except for her. “Not all of us enjoy baking in the sun.”

If it was before the reveal, Kara would chuckle, and call her a vampire or tell her that a little sunlight would be good for her. Instead, Kara mumbled an apology and readjusted the shade until a curtain of shadow fell over half the table. It felt like an omen, with Kara bathed in light and her in shadow, a clearly defined line between them.

“Better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

The server arrived back with a basket of garlic bread and asked for their drink order.

“I think we're ready to order, actually,” Kara said. The server readied her pen. “A large pepperoni, with extra cheese, an order of your lasagna, and the caprese appetizer. Oh, and a side of fries. What did you want, Lena?”

“Are you sharing?”

“Nope.” She must be really hungry, then. Kara had turned her attention to the basket of bread in front of her and grabbed a piece for each hand.

“Can I get the Mediterranean salad and double the appetizer. Oh, and can we get more garlic bread?” Lena pointed to the empty basket and the server's eyes widened.

“I-I'll be right back.” She scurried away.

It was easy to share a conspiratorial smile with Kara. Her appetite was always good for frightening the weak. Honestly, how did she never figure it out? With nothing else to eat, Kara would usually engage her in conversation. But now, she was staring over her shoulder, pulling her fingers unconsciously, her leg bouncing just a hair too quickly.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Kara blinked at her.

“Is there an emergency?” It was odd, asking Kara if she was sensing some kind of disaster elsewhere in the city.

Sighing, Kara returned her focus to the table. “No, I'm just worried.”

It took a moment to realize what Kara was referring to. “The baby.” Kara nodded. “Why? Do you think something is going to happen?”

Kara's answer was delayed by the arrival of their drinks and appetizers. Kara wolfed down a few pieces of mozzarella and tomatoes before continuing. “I'm not even sure if worried is the right word.” She shrugged. “Being away from him feels weird. Maybe uncomfortable is a better description.”

“Do you not think Eliza can’t handle it?” From how forcefully Eliza had forced Kara out the door, Jax must have been a super-powered handful.

Kara straightened up. “Of course not! Jax is great! He's such a sweetheart and he has the best smile!” Kara got that dreamy look in her eye like when she talked about pot stickers, except Lena had never seen it in reference to a person before. “I just miss him, I guess. Is that weird? It's been less than a week.” Kara’s brow furrowed. “I mean, it's not a great feeling, but it's not terrible either. It's more...I'm anxious to get back to him than outright anxious. Although, that's there too.”

“That sounds…” She paused, trying to picture it but coming up short. “Intense. But I doubt I'll get the opportunity to find out."

Kara's brow creased. "Why not?" 

“I never got any pictures so I figured you didn't want me near him.” She punctuated her little jibe with a small smile.

Kara’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. There was a dull cracking sound. “What? No! That's not—” Lena couldn't help it, she chuckled. The tension drained from Kara's face. “Oh, you're teasing me.”

“Maybe a little.” It was meant as a joke, but there was a hint of something darker behind it that she was trying to stamp down. Because she wasn’t jealous of a baby. She wasn’t.

“Well, I hope it was worth it because, thanks to you, I snapped their table.” She deposited a hunk of cheap wood on the tabletop.

Maybe it was the casual admission of her powers, or that it had been so long that since she felt comfortable enough with Kara to engage in a round of gentle ribbing, but the absurdity of it all made her burst out laughing. Kara dissolved into giggles of her own and soon, they were both wiping tears from the corners of their eyes.

When they finally quieted down, Kara turned oddly somber. “I never said you couldn’t come around, if you wanted to.”

Lena shrugged while using a fork to cut a small piece of her own food. “Yes, well, I'm still not sure it's a good idea.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Because I'm me—my life, my name—it’s dangerous.” The photo ops for the Luthor children’s hospital sprang to mind. But even then, the parents would quickly usher their children away as soon as the photographer was done. “Besides, I've never been around children longer than the time it takes to snap a photo.”

Kara lowered her voice. “Lena, I have just as many enemies, if not more, than you do. In fact, some of our enemies overlap! And I used to babysit in college—that doesn’t actually mean I know what I’m doing.”

She shook her head. “I can't give him the attention he needs like you can. I can contribute financially—”

“First of all, you don't have to turn your life upside down.”

“But you seem to be.”

“And I have it covered,” Kara said, smiling wryly. “For the most part. Second of all—” Kara brandished her fork at her. “I never want you to say that your only contribution to a relationship is money, I will be forced to smack you and you don't want that, I still have butter on my hands from the garlic bread.”

Lena chuckled.

“I'm serious Lena. You are thoughtful, and brilliant, and funny, and caring. You'd be one of my favorite people even if you were broke. You have plenty to offer a child. So, you can be as involved as you want, Lena.” For a moment, Kara looked like she was going to reach over the table and grasp her hand but she simply flexed her fingers and scrunched her napkin instead.

Lena inhaled sharply. Hearing these things from Kara wasn’t new but their fight had her questioning if Kara actually meant those things. While privately, she had decided their friendship was just an act, it seemed she wasn’t quite as immune to the flattery as she wanted to be.

“We can start small,” Kara said. “You wanted to test his hearing regulators in public, right? You can tag along. We'll go to the park.”

“That sounds reasonable.”

“Large pepperoni?” A different server came to the table carrying the pizza.

Their conversation ended in favor of their meal and Lena actually managed to snag a piece before Kara inhaled the rest. The rest of their food filtered in and by the time Lena was tossing her black Amex into the leather check holder, the table was littered with empty plates. When their server returned for her signature, Lena left a sizable tip and followed Kara out of the restaurant. The walk back passed quickly and before she knew it, they were once again on the steps outside Kara’s building.

“Do you want to come up?” Kara asked.

“I actually have to get back to the office, I’ve been gone too long already.” Kara nodded. “But you’ll call me when you go to the park?”

“I will. How does Friday look for you?”

Friday was actually terrible. She’d spent most of the week pushing meetings back to make more time to finish Jax’s earpieces but there was a part of her that was afraid that Kara would rescind the offer if she declined. “Friday will be fine. Sometime in the afternoon, preferably.”

“Three o’clock? I’ll text you what park we’re going to?”

She nodded. “I’ll be there.” They said their goodbyes and Lena watched Kara disappear into her building before heading for her car. When she got in the vehicle, she started it up but stayed put, navigating her car’s Bluetooth screen to select her office phone.

“Ms. Luthor’s office, Jessica Huang speaking.”

“Jess, I need you to reschedule a few things for me.”

Her assistant let out a long-suffering sigh.

* * *

 

Eliza was a godsend. Kara had nearly forgotten from her early years in the Danvers’ house how much of a calming and grounding presence Eliza was. From her gentle humming while she cooked, all of Kara’s old favorites, to her quiet concentration while she read a new scientific journal at the end of the night, a pair of reading glasses on the end of her nose; Eliza took over the extra housework because, “ _parenting is ninety percent repetitive chores, ten percent learning to live without sleep_ ”.

That left Kara free during the day to focus on Jax and he was thriving with the extra attention. With the earpieces, Jax was waking up less at night and when he did wake up, Kara and Eliza would trade off feeding him a bottle and putting him back to sleep. During the day, he was more alert, engaging with Kara when she read to him, pounding the pages with his hands if she didn’t turn the page fast enough, responding to her when she spoke to him, and even trying to sit up by himself.

After their lunch, Kara tried to keep the lines of communication between her and Lena open. She sent at least one photo of Jax per day, and it was now common for Lena to reply with small comments about Jax’s progress. She looked at the last exchange in her messages, a picture of Jax sitting in the sink with bubbles all around him that she had sent the previous night, the words ‘First Bath!!!’ sent as a separate text. Underneath was the name of one of National City’s less frequented parks and a time.

“Kara, shouldn’t we get going?” Kara turned to Eliza. Her foster mother was carrying a packed diaper bag in her arms. “I packed all of his things and a few toys. Did you put the blanket in the car?”

“Yeah, along with everything else.” She had packed an ice chest full of snacks and drinks, a chair for Eliza, and a thick blanket to spread over the grass before trying to figure out how to install the car seat base to Eliza’s car. She was embarrassed to say that putting the base into the backseat had taken longer than she anticipated. “Let’s go!”

Kara clipped Jax into the car seat tightening the straps to an acceptable level. Jax plucked at the straps before turning his attention to the toy Kara had attached to the handle, a collection of spinning plastic animals and noise makers. He was dressed in a smart, navy blue, one-piece jumper with a cartoon crab dressed like a pirate, and a pair of Birkenstock sandals. She thought he looked adorable so she snapped her sister a few minutes ago—Alex thought he looked like a nerd.

The drive didn’t take long, less than ten minutes, and soon they were pulling into the parking lot. Kara loaded most of their gear on top of the ice chest, and pulled it behind her while carrying Jax’s car seat in the other hand. The park wasn’t large, just big enough for a grassy field and a playground, but there were still a few families out enjoying the nice weather.

“This seems good, right?” Kara asked, nodding to a spot near the playground beneath a shady tree.

“This is perfect.” Eliza set up her camp chair beside the tree.

She placed Jax’s car seat down and spread out the blanket over the ground, leaving the ice chest at the edge of the blanket. Next, she loosened the straps of the car seat, gingerly pulling the baby free of the seat.

“Ok, baby, here we go.” She pulled Jax onto her lap and made herself comfortable on the ground.

It was amazing to watch Jax’s face as he looked around, taking in the change of scenery. He blinked up at the leaves on the tree above them, squirmed in her arms to look out to the playground, and would turn sharply back to look at her and Eliza. They stayed like that for several minutes until Jax looked in a new direction, letting out a happy cry.

Looking up, Kara saw the source of Jax’s excitement was Lena climbing out of her car and heading towards them. Lena was dressed in her usual work attire; a pencil skirt and a green silk blouse. She had her phone in one hand and a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes. Despite the dark lenses, Kara could see Lena’s eyes scanning the park so she waved her over.

“Hey, you made it.” She gave Lena a wide smile.

Lena lifted her sunglasses and put her purse on the blanket. “Sorry I’m late. My meeting ran long.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ve just been people watching.” Kara tiled her head back lazily.  

“That sounds nice.” She turned to Eliza. “Nice to see you again.”

“Lena, I’m so glad you could make it,” Eliza said genially, holding the page of her book down. “Would you like to have a seat?” She started to stand.

Lena waved her off. “No, please. I’m fine with the ground.” She arranged herself onto the blanket, her skirt hiking up to allow her legs to be comfortably folded beneath her, giving Kara an unobstructed view of Lena’s legs.

Kara’s cheeks warmed and she cleared her throat. “So, do you want to hold him?”

Lena froze.

* * *

“Uh…” Kara was holding the baby out to her with her hands gripping the sides under his arms. This was where her desire to be involved broke down; she’d never actually held a baby before. But Kara was looking at her expectantly and she figured there was no time like the present. “Sure.”

Lena replaced Kara’s hands with her own drawing him in and holding him above her lap. Jax placed his feet on the tops of her thighs and bounced up and down. “Bababab,” he jabbered.

“He’s strong,” she said, hardly holding him up as he straightened and recoiled his legs. “Is that super strong or...?”

“Normal baby strength from what I can tell. It’s just a little more developed because he spent that extra time—” Kara’s nose scrunched up— “cooking.”

Tiny hands grabbed her face as Jax brought himself closer until he could bury his head under her nose, softly bumping her chin with his forehead. Her heart was beating wildly, pushing blood into her face, and her breathing hitched. Slowly, Lena circled her arms around him and held him close to her chest.

She’d never received such easy affection. Even Kara, who was the most tactile person she knew, had built up to the easy hugs and casual arm over her shoulder that they shared before she discovered the truth. But even that was nothing compared to the level of affection she saw the blonde share with Alex or Jax.

“Lena, are you okay?”

Her head snapped up to see Kara eyeing her with concern. “Yes. Why?”

“No, I—” She shook her head. “Never mind.”

Jax let go of her face and squirmed until he was turning in her arms. She let him move until he was repositioned with his back against her chest in her lap. Eliza produced a colorful plush spiral with various stimulation toys and Lena occupied him by dangling the toy in front of him.

Lena continued playing with Jax while Kara began pulling food out of the ice chest at her back. Kara filled the silence as she ate sandwich after sandwich with Eliza chiming in every now and again but she wasn't listening. She was too focused on the baby in her arms who kept smiling brightly up at her. Eventually, the baby did not want to continue being held and Lena had to relinquish him back to Kara.

“Here, let's try to work out some of that energy.” Kara put him down on the blanket, face down. Jax whined as his face became buried in the blanket.

“What are you doing? He's not going to be able to breathe!” She reached out to right him but Kara waved her off.

“No, he's fine. We're supposed to be doing this a few times a day. It's called tummy time.”

“But—”

Jax pushed up so that his upper body was off the ground and supported by his arms. There was no sign of distress on his face and he seemed perfectly happy.

“See, there he goes.”

It was small, but he was doing his own form of pushups. Each time he lifted himself up he held half a little straighter, held himself up a little longer. Eventually, he began to rock back and forth, trying to draw his legs up underneath him.

“Oh my gosh,” Kara exclaimed. “Is he going to crawl? Where’s my phone?” Kara shoved her hands into her pockets and pulled out her phone and began recording.

Jax kicked out with his legs but he didn’t move his arms and he teetered over, face planting into the blanket. All three women let out a chorus of “awww”s. Deciding that was enough, Jax managed to roll over onto his back, cooing and kicking his feet happily.

Kara tucked her phone back into her pocket. “Nice try, buddy.”

“He’ll get there,” Eliza said.

Kara looked at her. “Should we try and take him on the swing?”

“Okay.”

They left Eliza with their things and walked the short distance to the swing set. Lena eyed the rickety metal chains and battered plastic seat with barely hidden suspicion.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” she asked.

“He’ll be fine,” Kara said. She placed Jax into the baby seat and he instinctively grabbed the front panel. “Ready, baby?”

Lena watched as Kara gripped the chains and softly pushed away the seat. Jax’s eyes widened and although Lena knew, logically, that he was safe—especially when there was a superhero standing next to them who could remove him safely in an instant—she couldn't help the way her heart leaped into her throat when he sailed away from them. That anxiety remained as the chair curved slightly upwards but she let out a breath on its return when Jax began giggling in earnest.

“He likes it!” Kara clapped.

Lena let out a shaky laugh. “Yes, he does.”

They continued pushing the seat gently, switching off after every second pass. She was able to relax the longer they went until she and Kara we're taking turns making silly faces when he got close. Jax's laugher rose in pitch each time they did this, becoming more excited as they progressed and Lena was filled with the same rush of affection she'd felt when he hugged her.

“This was…nice,” she said, lifting Jax out of the swing.

“We should try and make it a regular thing!” Kara said, beaming.

Her brow knit together. “Kara…”

Seeing the expression on her face, Kara began rambling. “Or we can do other stuff. We can rent a few movies and camp out in the living room—I don’t know if he’ll be interested in movies yet, though. Maybe if it’s a musical?” She looked so hopeful.

“Kara, no.” She held Jax against her hip.

“Okay, well we could—”

She had to put a stop to this line of thinking. “It's not the activity that’s the problem.”

“Then what is it? Is it because you’re busy? Because I’m officially on family leave and I’m sure we can work with your schedule.”

She shook her head. “This isn’t—we aren’t friends, Kara!” She'd been repeating those words to herself for almost three months and they still hurt.

Kara's shoulders slumped and the smile faded from her face. “But I thought…You came out today?”

“To see Jax and to see if I could possibly manage being a single parent.” Something she still wasn't sure of.

Kara frowned. “Single. So, you mean—?”

“Half the time with me, half with you, yes.” She nodded.

“So that’s it?” Kara's expression darkened. “We never see each other unless it has to do with Jax?”

Jax was becoming steadily more upset, letting out small noises of distress. Lena made a conscious effort to keep her voice down as she held him back out to Kara. “I have to go. Let me know when I can try and take him for the afternoon. I’ll be sure to clear my schedule.”

She could feel Kara's eyes and hear as Jax began to cry as she crossed the playground. She bid Eliza a quick goodbye, grabbing her purse and fleeing to the parking lot.

* * *

 Kara watched as Lena drove away in her black Mercedes, soothing Jax's tears. “It's okay, baby.” She repeated herself over and over until he quieted and when she made her way to Eliza, he was sucking on his fingers.

“Everything alright?” Eliza asked.

“Yeah,” she lied. Her phone rang and she answered without looking, holding it up to her ear. “Hello?”

Her sister greeted her. “Kara, it’s me. We have an attack in the new fashion district and J’onn is already dealing with a situation uptown.”

“Alex, I—” Her eyes flew to Jax, and guilt welled up in her stomach.

Eliza waved at her. “Is it an emergency?” Kara nodded. “Go. I can get the baby to the apartment and watch him for a while.”

Sighing, she handed Jax over to Eliza's waiting arms. “Alex, I’m on my way.”

She ran to where there were several overgrown hedges, checking to be sure no one was looking and changed into her suit. Bending her legs, she took off into the sky.

~~~

Kara flew back to the apartment with donuts. More precisely two boxes of donuts but one of the boxes was empty—she couldn't wait and ate those on the flight home. She dumped the empty box into the trash and wandering towards the living room.

Eliza was in an armchair by the TV, she muted the program. “How'd it go?”

“Fine. An ex-employee lit a warehouse on fire but I got everybody out in time and put out the fire.” She threw herself into the couch, her boots on the arm, and opened the box of donuts. “Is Jax sleeping?”

“I fed him a bottle and he conked out about an hour ago.” Eliza got up and walked over, swatting at her boots. “You're getting soot on the upholstery.”

She kicked her boots off, stuffing a cruller in her mouth.

“Good. Now, what happened with Lena?”

Kara swallowed. “I don’t know, Eliza. Sometimes I think I'm never going to get her to trust me again.”

“Well, I can keep watching Jax if you want to go talk to her.”

She shook her head. “I don't know.” That hadn't gone so we'll the last time.

“Come on, you won’t get anything done if you just sit there moping.”

“I’m not moping!” She sat up.

“ _Two_ boxes of donuts?”

Kara sunk back into the cushions. “Fine, I’m moping.”

“Go talk to her. I'm sure she's hurting as much as you are.”

That cinched it for her. Leaving the box of donuts on the coffee table, Kara thanked her foster mother and flew to L-Corp. As she expected, Lena was in her office, typing furiously away at her keyboard.

She hovered above the balcony, letting Lena register her presence before touching down. Lena paused her typing, her shoulders slumping for a moment before she squared her shoulders and rose from her chair.

“Supergirl, why don't you come in?”

Kara entered through the balcony door. “If now is a bad time, I can come back.”

Lena hit a button and Kara heard the locking mechanism of her door activate, giving them privacy. “What do you want, Kara?”

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I just. I don't like the way we left things.”

Lena sighed. “I don’t either. But things can't just go back to the way they were.”

“Why?” she asked, managing to keep the outright whine out of her voice. “Because you still don't trust me?”

“Because _you_ don't trust _me_ ,” Lena argued, jumping up from her chair. “You proved that when you waited years to tell me the truth.”

“I wanted to tell you—”

“And then when I made the kryptonite—”

“Oh, Rao, not this again,” she said to the ceiling in frustration. “I was never upset because you had kryptonite and thought you would use it on me!” She began listing the reasons off on her fingers. “I was upset because making it was dangerous.”

“Do you really think I would get it wrong?”

“It could have resulted in making Reign stronger, or making me go bad again—”

“Maxwell Lorde is hardly equipped to build a cabinet from Ikea, let alone synthesize a correct form of kryptonite,” Lena mumbled, crossing her arms across her chest.

“It could have been easily taken from LCorp and used against me.” Lena opened her mouth so Kara added, “Which has been broken into multiple times.”

“Has the DEO proven to be any safer?” Lena demanded.

“And,” Kara said. “It hurt to find out that my best friend had something handy that could kill me. Specifically, me.”

Lena threw her hands up. “But I didn't know that! And you were the one that tried to use my boyfriend to spy on me!”

“I didn’t ask James to spy, I asked him to check one specific place for any more kryptonite. And I didn’t ask him because he was your boyfriend. I asked him because he was my friend and I trusted him to keep it objective since he cared for both of us!” Not that it turned out that way.

“Because you didn’t trust me,” Lena said plainly.

“Because,” Kara insisted. “While I knew that you wouldn’t lie to me, I didn’t know if you would hide things from the DEO or Supergirl.”

“You _are_ Supergirl!” Lena exclaimed.

“But back then I was two different people to you! And I couldn’t just go up to you as Kara Danvers and ask, ‘hey, I want to know if you still have this dangerous substance you supposedly destroyed? Just asking for a friend!’”

“It was still a shitty thing to do.”

“I know. And I know that I overreacted.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I'm not perfect, Lena. I make mistakes. I'm trying to own up to them and change things but I can't do that if you keep pushing me away.”

Lena stared at her.

“What?”

“I just thought you would continue insisting you were right.”

“No, I wasn’t right. But you weren’t either.”

Lena relaxed, her arms dropping from where she held them defensively across her chest. “I know. I didn’t realize what you meant about how dangerous the kryptonite was until Mercy seeded the atmosphere with it. Seeing you like that, even though I didn’t know it was you—” she broke off. “Why couldn’t you have just told me who you were?”

"When did you decide that our friendship meant I owed you the secret that's kept me safe for the last fifteen years?" Kara demanded. Lena had the decency to look abashed. She breathed out a sigh, feeling her anger leaving her. All she wanted was for Lena to understand. 

She sat heavily on the arm of the couch. “Lena, the second time we met, you asked me to try your alien detection device and very nearly outed me as an alien right then and there.”

“I remember,” Lena said, nodding.

“I've spent the entire time I've been on earth hiding who I am from everyone. You’re the one that put the image inducer out on the market. You saw what happened to this city when Agent Liberty stirred everything up. I'm sure you can understand why I would have hid my identity?

“I wanted to tell you but then the invasion happened. You were kidnapped and we didn’t have any way to get to you and then Lillian showed up and she said…” she trailed off, taking a deep breath. She didn’t want to sound like she was making excuses.

Lena’s eyes narrowed. “What does my mother have to do with anything?”

“Well, she knows my identity, for a start; has known it for a long time.”

“She what?” Lena’s voice turned low and dangerous.

“When she offered to help get you back, she said you would hate me when you found out.” Kara jumped up and began pacing. “And I let it get to me! I know I shouldn’t have but I did, and I put off telling you the truth. Again. Then, Reign appeared…”

“And then Supergirl and I fought,” Lena finished for her. She sighed, sitting on the edge of her desk. “But why? Why do you care what my mother had to say?”

“Because I was scared of losing you. You liked me for me, not for what I can do, and that’s…” She looked up, blinking back tears. “There’s always a part of me that wonders if my friends prefer me in a cape rather than just plain old me.” She sighed. “Even when you hated Supergirl, you were still my best friend.”

“I didn’t _hate_ Supergirl,” Lena said.

“Lena,” Kara chided.

“I could never have hated her; she’s saved my life too many times. Even after we fought, you kept coming to my rescue.”

Kara took a chance and closed the distance between them, stopping when she was barely more than a foot away. “You’ve saved me too, Lena.”

She shook her head. “The suit—”

“Yes, the suit.” She nodded. “And the Harun-El. Because of you, my mother and a piece of my home is still floating up there in space. You figured out how to put me back together and you helped detoxify the atmosphere.”

“I didn’t—”

“You did. And that doesn’t even touch on the other times you’ve saved all our skins. You’ve been my hero for a long time, Lena.” She reached out and grabbed Lena’s hand, cradling it in both of her own. “I can’t go back and change things but I can promise not to lie to you again.”

“I’m not in the habit of giving anyone second chances,” Lena said, her voice wavering. “I don’t even know if I’d know how.”

“Maybe we can call it moving forward, instead.” She tried for a smile and her heart expanded when Lena answered it with a teary one of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy folks. I know it's been awhile. The holidays monopolized me, and then I spent most of January down with the never ending cold. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter but I wanted to get something out.

Jax’s high-pitch giggle filled Lena’s office as she bounced him on her lap at her desk.

“Bouncing baby!” she called, lifting him by the waist to try and draw another giggle from him.

Across her desk, Kara chuckled. “I’m glad you’re getting him to laugh, at least.”

“Oh, no. Was he having a tough morning?” Lena leaned around to look at Jax’s face. His wide eyes and drooly smile gave away nothing.

“Someone decided that they don’t like socks,” Kara said, trying and failing to keep the smile from her face.

“Is that right?” She’d been wondering why he was in tiny tennis shoes but had no socks on. “Well, this is Southern California. I think he’ll be alright.”

Kara and Jax had stopped by for a visit. They had walked all the way from Kara’s apartment, not a difficult feat considering Kara’s superspeed and endurance, and had arrived only a few minutes ago with Kara pushing a stroller, a coffee in each cup holder.

It was no longer strange to her to have Jax in the office, having found herself in similar situations several times over the last month; ever since that day Kara had dropped into her office and they’d agreed to give their friendship another try.

They’d gotten into a routine of a sorts since then, one that Lena was surprised to find that she enjoyed. At night she would join Kara and Jax. At first, it would only be for a few minutes, but it wasn’t long before she was staying longer and longer until she had dinner at Kara’s nearly every night. If she couldn’t make it, Kara would make it a point to swing by her office with Jax in a stroller and a coffee or some other kind of treat for her and they’d spend a few precious minutes in her office before she had to return to work.

An explosion sounded somewhere in the city, causing her to flinch and tighten her grasp on the child on her lap. Kara leapt up from her chair, staring over Lena’s shoulder. A moment later and Kara’s ringtone could be heard from the depths of Jax’s diaper bag.

“I can take him,” she announced.

Kara’s attention was still tuned into whatever crisis was unfolding. “Lena, I—” She blinked, finally looking at her. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, the rest of her work could be done the next day if need be and she could see it in the hesitant twitch of Kara’s hands that whatever was going on would require Supergirl. “I’m sure; I have his bag, I already bought a spare car seat. I’m good to go.”

“Thank you!” Kara dipped down, pressing a quick kiss to Jax’s forehead.

For a brief moment, Lena considered giving Kara a hug. It was something they'd gotten comfortable doing previously in their friendship but ever since their argument, Kara had respected her need for personal space. But lately, they seemed to be falling back into old habits and Lena was unsure of how to broach the subject. 

Unfortunately, Lena hesitated for too long and Kara had already dashed out of her office. Sighing, Lena turned her attention to Jax and smiled down at him. The baby was staring contentedly up at her. He was quiet now but Lena knew from experience that he wouldn’t enjoy staying in her office for long.

Luckily, she had taken note of his favorite toys from her nights at Kara’s and gone to the trouble of buying doubles to keep at her place. Along with the set of baby gear she had procured for herself when she decided to give co-parenting a try, her apartment was much better equipped to entertain Jax.

Jess entered her office with a knock to the door. “Ms. Luthor, I saw Ms. Danvers leave. Is she coming right back? You have that department meeting in twenty minutes.”

“Uh…” A second explosion sounded in the background. “No, she’s going to be a while. Can you clear my schedule? I’m taking the baby for the afternoon.”

Jess assured her that it wouldn’t be a problem and left to make the necessary arrangements.

Lena stood, keeping Jax propped against her hip with one arm as she slid her laptop into her bag. She put the baby into the stroller, shouldering her purse, laptop bag, and Jax’s diaper bag. She backed out of her office, struggling with the door until Jess jumped up from her desk to hold the door.

“Thanks, Jess.”

“Have a good afternoon, Ms. Luthor,” Jess said, pressing the elevator button for her. “And good luck with Ms. Danvers’ son. I hear toddlers can be a handful.”

“Oh, he’s actually—” Lena paused, intending to correct her assistant and realized that she didn’t know how to begin to explain the situation. ‘I accidently had a baby with my best friend thanks to a kidnapping and alien technology’ just didn’t seem to capture the nuance of the situation.

She knew the truth would be problematic—both for Jax’s safety and Kara’s identity—and they were still workshopping a story to explain why they were both listed as legal guardians on all his paperwork. And there was also the fact that she didn’t feel like a parent. She had been spending more and more time with Jax and while she was crazy about him, she felt more like a babysitter than anything else.

She was saved from her wavering thanks to the elevator's arrival. Rushing into the small metal box, she gave her assistant a small wave as the doors closed.

Jax fussed as the elevator began to descend, struggling against the stroller’s straps, and whining. Bending forward, she brushed his hair back tenderly. “We’re almost there, baby,” she said soothingly. 

He quieted once they reached the parking garage and she got him into the car seat without incident. Throwing all the bags onto the passenger seat, she started the car and maneuvered out of the building, pulling into National City traffic. The drive was, thankfully, quick, and she pulled into the parking garage of her apartment building, the security gate opening when it caught the sensor reading from her parking permit.

She parked in her designated space, gathering the bags before getting out of the car. She didn’t bother with the stroller, simply arranging her burdens over her shoulders until her purse was trapped against her side beneath the diaper bag and her laptop bag was directly behind her. It wasn't the most convenient way to carry everything, which she found out when her laptopb ounced against her ass with every step.

She got into her apartment and made a beeline for her living room which is where she had all the baby gear. She had meant to set everything up in one of the spare bedrooms as a nursery but had been too busy to get more than a crib in there. Now everything was tetris’ed into her living room, blocking several walkways and only leaving one pathway. She was thankful for the blockade at the moment—it meant she could use the single baby gate she'd bought to corral Jax in.

She placed the baby down on the area rug, stepping away to retrieve the basket of toys and put it down beside him. He eagerly scooted towards the basket, examining his bounty.

While he was distracted, Lena removed her bags, throwing them to the nearby couch cushion. She removed the diaper bag, unzipping the largest pocket to take stock of the supplies. There were diapers, wipes, two spare sets of clothes, and—

Jax broke through her inventory, vocalizing loudly as he played with a wooden train. “Nam nam nam.”

She jumped when the toy was thrown across the room and Jax began to cry. “Jax, honey, what is the matter?”

He slapped his hand against his chest, drawing it down towards his waist and repeated his nonsense words. “Nam nam nam!” He repeated the motion with his hand again, getting increasingly frustrated.

Finally, it hit her. Kara had mentioned she was teaching him a handful of basic sign language. Grabbing her phone, she scrolled through the list of signs Kara had emailed her and she found the sign for hungry; one open hand, fingers spread and curled inward, drawn from the chin down the chest in a line. Obviously, Jax’s version was a little off but the movement was the same.

Lena repeated the sign correctly. “Are you hungry?”

He did his crude version again, staring up at her miserably.

“Okay, let's get you some food.” She picked him up and headed for the kitchen.

She knew from spending the last several weeks at Kara's that Jax was eating solids if it was relatively soft and cut into bite sized pieces. Looking through her fridge, she spotted several things that she could feed him if she was able to cook, but considering that it was probably passed his lunch time, she grabbed some yogurt and a banana.

It was a little difficult spoon feeding him while he was sitting in her lap but they managed. Next time they did this she'd have to assemble the high chair. He finished the yogurt and half of the banana when he started pushing the fruit away.

“Are you done?” He pushed the banana away again. “Okay.” She wet a washcloth and wiped his face before returning him to his play area in the living room. “Here you go.”

The remainder of the afternoon passed quickly with Jax playing with an assortment of toys while she answered emails on her phone. Every once and a while he would crawl over to her, pulling himself by the edge of the couch and handed her a block or plastic ball while he stood rather unsteadily on two legs. She would laugh and thank him and he would smile and clap before returning to his previous activity.

Once she had gotten through her urgent matters, she stowed her phone and joined Jax on the floor. They read a few books, some of which had subject matter that Lena deemed questionable—honestly, she knew it was a classic but she thought Jax was a little young for the imagery in “Where the Wild Things Are”—and they had fun rolling a ball on the floor back and forth. Eventually, Jax began rubbing his face with his hands, his interest waning.

Lena recognized those cues as Jax’s sleep indicators and she stood up, her hips hurting a touch from being on the floor, and picked him up. He curled up in her arms, burying his face in her shirt and wrapping his arms around her neck.

She had always opted to let Kara put him down to sleep but she had observed the ritual enough times to confidently replicate the process. Gently bouncing with her hand rubbing soothing circles on his back, Lena made her way to the nursery.

She brought him to the crib, the only completed object in the room, and reached over the railing to pull back the linen blanket. Putting one hand on the back of his neck, Lena tried to softly lower Jax from her arms down to the infant mattress.

Except that the moment she pulled Jax from her arms, he let out a low cry of distress and struggled, trying to pull himself closer to her.

“Sh, sh, sh. It’s alright,” she told him, resuming her bouncing.

He settled back down, leaning into her once more but his cries resumed when she tried to put him down.

“Jax, it’s okay,” she assured him, wrapping him back in her arms. She tried to put him down a few more times but Jax became increasingly upset and she finally decided to give up.

For whatever reason, he didn’t seem to want to be put down. Was that normal? She hadn’t seen him act that way at Kara’s place. In fact, she had always marveled at how easily Kara was able to put him to sleep. With nowhere to sit in the room until she unboxed the rocking chair, she returned to the living room, perching on the couch.

Should she call Kara? Checking her phone, searched the headlines for news of Supergirl’s exploits and saw that there was still an ongoing situation around downtown. She debated calling Sam but it had become apparent over the last couple of months that Sam had forgotten a few of the finer details of infant care. No one else came to mind so she fell back on her own problem solving standby: research.

She searched online for any tips or explanations but many had conflicting information on what would work to trick a baby into sleeping in a crib. The advice ranged from long-term solutions that started with slowly moving the crib into the bedroom and moving it further and further until it made it into the nursery, to more questionable methods like putting the baby asleep with their preferred method and then placing the baby in the crib and hoping they didn’t have a breakdown when they awoke. But one thing each site had in common was the fact that sometimes babies just wanted to be held.

Resigning herself to her role of human-shaped pillow, Lena shifted until she was comfortable on the couch with one elbow on the arm rest, her head leaned back. Jax was sprawled against her, one arm drawn against his body, the other hand fisted in the collar of her shirt, and his face was nestled under her chin. He looked so peaceful.

Lena had never been fond of sleeping. Wasting hours when she could be working? Not to mention that a part of her associated unconsciousness with the multiple assassination and kidnapping attempts made against her. So, no, she wasn’t fond of closing her eyes and allowing herself to be vulnerable for hours at a time. At first, she tried to resume working on her phone but after the third email, she couldn’t resist the warmth and comforting weight of the small body that was draped over her and she was lulled into a pleasant sleep.

So, maybe, she could get used to this.

* * *

 

Kara bent at her knees to absorb the impact of landing on the balcony. The ground beneath her shook more than she would have liked but she was tired, sue her. She pulled the sliding glass door to Lena's bedroom open, slipping inside.

The bedroom was empty, shadows from the end of the day playing on the wall without any further light source. Kara could hear Jax's heartbeat inside the apartment, the gentle thrum thrum thrum beating in sync with another. She smiled, recognizing the languid rhythm; they were asleep.

Following her hearing, she made her way to the living room were a veritable explosion of color lay on the floor; blocks of all shapes and colors were scattered around, various sized stacking cups lie upturned by the coffee table, and a playskool bus was at the foot of the entertainment center. Kara rounded the couch, floating lazily over the box baracade that had been hastily constructed.

Lena was lying with her head on the arm rest, one leg on the couch, one on the floor, still in her work clothes with her arms wrapped firmly around the sleeping baby. She looked peaceful. The carefully crafted mask she wore in public smoothed by the release of sleep. Jax was clinging to her with his legs wrapped as far as they would go on either side of her, his hands outstretched to lightly hold onto the side of her face.

Pulling out her phone, Kara took a moment to silence her shutter before carefully snapping a picture of the two of them in the fading sunlight. She stared down at the picture of the stolen moment, her chest filled with warmth, when Lena let out a particularly heavy breath, breaking the silence.

Shaking her head, Kara stowed the phone and decided to give the place a once over, to let them sleep a few more moments longer. With a whoosh, she was speeding around the room, gathering all of Jax's toys and replacing them into a bin that already was partially filled. She shifted a few boxes around so that there'd be a walkway again, and she was in the kitchen at normal speed beginning to wash the dishes when she heard Lena begin to stir.

“You know,” Lena said, her voice thick from sleep. “I didn't think you'd do housework in the suit.” She stepped into the kitchen. Her hair was mussed from her nap, flyaways pulling away from her previously tight ponytail.

Kara smiled. “Normally, I don't. The sleeves don't roll up very well.” She held up a hand, her sleeve pushed back and folded over to barely reveal her wrist.

Lena chuckled. “You really didn't need to clean up, but I appreciate it all the same.”

Kara rinsed the last utensil and shut the water off. “I just didn't want to wake you.”

“Well, thank you.” Her cheeks flushed. “I was having a hard to getting him to go down; he just wanted to be held.”

“Yeah, he seemed really content with you.” Kara dried her hands on a dish towel and put her hands back through her sleeves. “Did you have a good time?”

“It was great. I'm sure you saw all the blocks? He was starting to piece them together rather than just banging them against one another.”

“That's great!” Lena looked so so excited at the new milestone Jax had reached. “I knew he'd take after you.”

A faint pink colored Lena's cheeks. “I just want to thank you for this afternoon. I'd been having trouble...connecting. Today has gone a long way to remedy that.”

Kara smiled in response to Lena's soft smile. She'd do anything to keep that look on Lena's face. Which that thought in her mind, she opened her mouth and the first thing she could think of spilled out. “Maybe he could stay the night.”

Lena's eyes widened and Kara started babbling. “I mean, if you want. Or sometime, not necessarily tonight. But anytime you want, really.”

Lena chuckled. “I'd love that, actually.” She approached the kitchen island leaning against the counter. “And tonight would be perfect. I don't have any meetings until eleven.”

“Awesome!” she exclaimed, grateful for an end to her rambling. “Will you need anything from my apartment?”

“I have everything I need here,” Lena said. “I keep extra wipes and diapers, and of course I have plenty of clothes for him.”

Kara's head bobbed up and down. “Right. Well, I should probably be going.” She stopped by the couch where Jax was still sleeping, boxed in by several cushions. “Goodnight, buddy.” She dropped a kiss to his forehead.

Lena hovered behind her but gave her a soft smile as she stood. “Goodnight, Lena.” She headed for the balcony only to be stopped by Lena's hand on her shoulder.

“Kara, wait.”

“Yeah?” She turned and saw Lena wringing her hands nervously.

There was another moment of indecision before Kara saw Lena's expression clear and she opened her arms and stepped into Kara's personal space and wrap her arms around her.

Kara was stunned. The hug was a gesture that they had shared hundreds of times before but one they hadn't performed in months. For Lena to be the one to initiate it—it meant more to Kara than she could articulate. Finally, Kara lifted her arms and allowed herself to melt into the hug, laying her head over Lena's shoulder.

Lena tightened her grip on her cape, pulling her closer. They stayed that way for several long moments and Kara spent that time listening to the sound of Lenas breathing. Finally, Lena's hold on her loosened and Kara dropped her arms and moved back.

“I—uh,” Kara started. She wiped at the edge of her eyes, her fingers coming back damp.

Lena wasn't fairing much better, her face was flushed and Kara could see some unshed tears reflected back at her. “We'll see you tomorrow? I can drop Jax off before my meeting.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Taking a steadying breath, Kara gave Lena her warmest smile before taking flight.

A low chuckle echoed behind her. “Goodnight, Supergirl.”

Kara felt exceptionally light on her flight home, still practically floating as she landed in her apartment. She was getting the hang of this parenting thing, managing to get back out there as Supergirl, plus she and Lena were making strides to return their friendship beyond polite co-parenting. Things were definitely looking up. And as a plus, she was experiencing her first baby-free night since Jax had first arrived!

Eager to make the most of her time, she showered and changed into comfy clothes, threw a load of laundry into her washing machine, and was seated on the couch with a tub of ice cream while her Netflix loading in no time.

She dug a spoon into the frozen treat digging a large bite out of the canister. She popped the spoon into her mouth, humming as the taste of cookies and cream hit her tongue, and that's when she realized…this was her first night  _ without _ Jax.

All of a sudden, his absence was too noticeable. Her apartment was usually so full of sound; there was always the microwave as something was being heated up, or some kind of children's music in the background.that could barely be heard over Jax's near constant baby babble. Even when he was sleeping, Kara would always hear the gentle sound of his heartbeat with her heightened senses. Now there was nothing.

Kara was struck with the sudden urge to fly back to get her baby but she shook herself out of those thoughts and tried turning her attention to the TV. Everything was fine. It was only a single night. Besides, Lena had been really excited about bonding more with Jax. What kind of friend would she be if she suddenly showed up to rescind the offer?

She began scrolling through her feed, trying to find something to watch and take her mind off Jax. Nothing was catching her interest so she put the remote down to try and dig a difficult bot of cookie out of her ice cream. Her hand slipped when she dislodged it and she accidently hit a button on the remote as she overcompensated for the spoon.

Her TV began playing something but Kara was still too focused on her ice cream to see what as her selection loaded. All of a sudden, the melodic opening of Little Einstein's was playing and Kara was blubbering into her her dessert.

She missed her baby.

Figuring that she wasn't going to enjoy anything that night, she shut off her TV and decided to go to sleep. Because at least if she was asleep, she could pass the time until Jax got home. She replaced the ice cream in the freezer, spoon and all, and flopped facedown onto her mattress. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back on my bullshit which means ya'll get a chapter. Sorry it's been so long but I'm Busy. What can I say? I'm a parent. And it gets hard to write about the early days when my little one is nearing two. 
> 
> The Good News is this: I will be reliving the early days again because...*drum roll*..."Pregnancy, the Sequel: a tale of no sleep Redux, hormonal horror. Tag line: they didn't learn the first time, there will be no next time." 
> 
> I'm so sorry. It's 1 am and I'm wired on hormones. 
> 
> Anyways. It's a short one but it moves the story along. I hope you like it?

Kara had left with a small smile and a promise of seeing them in the morning and Lena had just enough time to return to the living room before Jax woke up. He seemed content to resume playing with his blocks so Lena was able to throw together some dinner.

She settled on her couch to eat and watch Jax play but the baby saw her pasta dish and abandoned his toys in favor of crawling over to the couch and pulling himself up to stand. He opened his mouth and whined, staring intently at her plate.

“Why does it not surprise me that you see someone eating and immediately want some too?” She asked, cutting up some of the soft noodles with her fork and giving Jax a taste.

Jax hummed appreciatively, his tiny jaw working furiously as he gummed the small bite. He finished the morsel and bounced on his, slightly unstable, legs before looking to her for another bite. The look on his face was so Kara that Lena found herself chuckling.

“An appetite just like your mama, huh?”

They finished eating and, after realizing that more Alfredo made it onto Jax's onesie than in his mouth, she decided to run him a bath.

It was a little awkward, holding a squirming, naked, baby while testing the water temperature but in the end it was just warm enough not to burn baby skin. Jax splashed excitedly but no amount of flinching and dodging could prevent her clothes from getting soaked. Ten minutes later, Jax was wrapped in a fluffy hooded towel and she was grabbing a change of clothes for Jax and bringing him to her room so she could get them both into some dry clothes.

A diaper, a onesie, and some cotton pants later and Jax was lounging on her bed while she changed into some yoga pants and a tank top. A glance at the clock told her that it was approaching bedtime so Lena took him with her to make a bottle. One night time ritual later and Jax was sleeping peacefully in his crib.

Lena went back to her room and collapsed on her bed, thoroughly exhausted. How did Kara do it? She supposed superpowers helped but there was only so much you could do with Kara's power set.

Well, there was plenty to do with Kara's powers…

Lena shook her head to dislodge her thoughts. Now was not the time for that. She had planned to do some more work after Jax had fallen asleep but there was no way she could do that now. She rose from the bed and retrieved her phone, setting her alarm on her phone and plugged it in for the night. She set up a baby monitor, angling it towards the bed to watch the baby's sleeping form. She turned out the lights and pulled back the covers, falling asleep easily.

To say the rest of her night went as smoothly would be lying. Her night had been cut short between a midnight and dawn cry session but she found that she was still adequately rested when Jax woke a third time. Especially when it wasn't crying that woke her but to the coos of a happy baby, rolling over in bed to see on the video monitor that Jax was sitting up in his crib, playing with the satin edge of his blanket. Lena dressed and fed him—and then dressed him again when he got pureed blueberries and carrots on his jumper—and before she knew it, it was time to leave.

A quick drive later and Lena was knocking on Kara's door with Jax beside her in his car seat. She startled slightly when Kara opened the door after one knock—almost as if she had seen them through the door. “Kara, good morning!”

“Lena, hi!” Kara greeted her quickly before the blonde’s attention was no longer on her. “Hi, baby!”

Kara crouched down and removed Jax from his seat. “Did you have a good time?”

“It was wonderful,” Lena said, stepping into the apartment. “He's so cute in the morning—” She broke off. Kara wasn't listening to her. No, Kara was entirely focused on Jax who was babbling and pointing to nowhere in particular.

“Oh, really?” Kara asked, nodding emphatically while Jax squealed. “And then what?”

Lena smiled. It was obvious how much Kara missed him and after the night they'd had, she could understand why.

Kara laughed, cradling Jax to her chest. “I missed you so much!” Lena watched as some of the nervous energy bled from Kara's shoulders the longer she held Jax. “So it was good, then?”

Lena smiled. “It was. Hopefully, we'll be able to do it more often.” She looked at the clock on her phone and cursed under her breath. “I'm running late but can I say goodbye?”

“Yeah, of course.” Kara shifted, letting her put her hands under Jax’s arms.

“Okay, little one,” she said, picking him up. “I have to go now.” Jax smiled up at her as she pressed a kiss to his forehead, his little hands grasping her face again and her heart melted. She could see a lipstick stain against his skin and she shifted Jax so that she could have a hand free to wipe the mark away. “Okay, I have to go.”

Kara held her hands out expectantly. Lena tried to hand him back, really, she tried, but she inhaled that clean, baby scent and her arms would no longer do what she wanted them to do. In her pocket, her phone vibrated.

“Lena. Isn't that your phone?”

She winced. Stupid superhearing. “It is. Okay.” Another kiss, and her phone went off again. “I have to go.”

Kara chuckled. “Here, let me help with that.”

Kara lifted Jax out of her arms and she immediately felt the loss. Lena reached out, smoothing Jax's dark curls back from his face and swiped her thumb across his cheek. He was just so soft.

“Lena, your meeting!” Kara said, chuckling lightly.

“Right!” Finally managing to regain control of herself, Lena grasped the strap of her purse and headed for the door. She was about to close the door behind her but she paused. “Kara?”

“Yeah?” Kara looked up from Jax's face.

“Can we do this again? Soon?” She could tell that Kara had a tough night without Jax and she didn't want to come off as demanding.

Kara's face softened. “Of course. We'll figure this out, Lena.” And she pulled her into a gentle hug, conscious of the little boy between them. “Tell you what, stop by for dinner after work.”

“Sounds great. I'll see you both soon.” And she dropped a kiss against Jax's forehead and Kara's cheek before heading off from the office.

~~~

Lena's eyes snapped open, taking in the sunlight streaming into the apartment. There was a split moment were she was filled with an overwhelming sense of calm; she was warm, Jax was still asleep in his crib, and Kara was snoring lightly from the bed. But that calm was gone when the sound that woke her happened again, a muted buzzing of her _phone_ buried somewhere in the blankets.

“Shit.”

She jumped up, intending to search for her phone, when she felt something pull in her neck followed by pain.

She hissed, rubbing the muscle. She picked up her phone, unlocking the screen and flipping it over when she realized she was looking at it upside down. It was after eight-thirty in the morning and her messages were full of her assistant asking if she should reschedule the meeting she had in ten minutes.

“Oh my God!” She huffed, throwing the covers back.

“Lena?” Kara asked from the other room, her voice heavy with sleep. “Whazz's the matter?”

“I'm late! I was supposed to be at the office an hour ago!”

“Oh,” Kara said, a little clearer. “Crap.”

Lena ran around the loft collecting her clothes from the previous night, cognizant of the sleeping baby not three feet away. When she had collected them all, she changed out of the pajamas Kara let her borrow, tossing them on the bed.

They'd been doing this for some time now, ever since they'd begun trading off nights of watching Jax. One of them would have Jax for a nights or two and by the second night either Lena would be over at Kara's apartment for dinner or she would find Supergirl asleep on her balcony, having flown by to soothe herself with Jax's heartbeat. So they began staying over. Kara gave Lena a key to her place and Lena left her balcony door open at all times.

Lena dressed quickly, thankful that yesterday's clothes weren't wrinkled. Maybe she could make it. She just needed to throw her hair up, brush her teeth—

“Uh, Lena?” Kara stared wide-eyed.

“What?” She asked as she made her way to the bathroom.

“Your top…”

As she stood before the bathroom mirror, Lena didn't need to ask Kara to clarify. There was an unmistakable stain that stretched from the top of her cleavage and dribbled onto her skirt. Then she remembered Jax spitting up on her after he shoved a sock in his mouth.

“It'll be fine!” Kara said, moving from the bed to standing in a blink of an eye with her powers. “I can fly you to your apartment and you can change real quick and then I'll drop you off at your office—”

She was interrupted when Jax awoke with a weak cry.

Kara immediately sped to his side and picked him up. “Good morning, baby!” Jax whined, burying his head in her neck. “It's okay, Jax.”

Lena's phone beeped.

_Jess: I managed to reschedule. You're meeting with them at 1:00 p.m._

God, Jess deserved a promotion. But Lena still knew that this was a major blunder. Anymore mishaps like this could spell disaster for her company. Something had to give.

Kara was still talking. “—Oh, no! Jax needs a change. Crap! I can change him real quick and then we'll go.”

“This isn't working,” she said finally, still trying to get her anger under control. She'd been thinking about it for a while now, and while she'd been hesitant to bring it up, she knew this couldn't go on any longer.

“It's fine.” She had Jax's legs pulled up and a wipey in hand when she scowled. “Crap, he's getting a rash. Hold on.” A quick breeze later and Kara was back with a tube of diaper rash cream.

“Kara,” Lena said. “Slow down.”

Kara whipped around. “But your meeting—?”

“Forget about my meeting, I've already missed it.”

She visibly deflated. “Lena, I—”

Lena held up her hand and Kara fell silent. “It's alright. Jess already texted that she rescheduled. What I'm trying to say is that I can't keep crashing here at night.” She was distracted by the throbbing in her neck. “God, my neck is killing me.”

“Right,” Kara said, looking down.”Well, next time you can take the bed and I can do the couch.”

“That still doesn't change the fact that I don't carry a change of clothes with me at all times and while I've gotten better at leaving work at a more reasonable hour, my mornings are still very busy.”

“Okay, so we start having dinner at your place and—”

“And then you end up on the couch since Jax has my spare room,” Lena finished for her.

“I don't mind,” Kara said earnestly.

“Well, I do.”

Kara looked to be scrambling for another option but coming up empty. “Well, we can…”

“I think we should consider moving in together,” Lena announced suddenly.

There was a beat of silence and then the tube of cream in Kara's hand exploded. “Ah, shoot.”

Lena took a deep breath and pressed on. “It's just—I really don't want to go back to spending days at a time without Jax and honestly, my apartment isn't the best for a growing toddler. I've been looking at different buildings and there are a few that are better suited, all top floors with a balcony, of course. There's one that would work, it's still within driving distance for me and while it's a little farther from CatCo, I figured that wouldn't be too much of an issue for you. It would take a bit of renovation, I'd have them combine two of the penthouses units to give us a bit more space but it's doable fairly quickly.”

Kara stared at her. “Wow, you've thought a lot about this.”

“Not a lot,” she deflected. “Just...recently, I've been thinking about it.”

“Can I have some time to think about it?” Kara asked, her brow crinkling in that way that meant she was uncomfortable.

Lena nodded. “Of course, take all the time you need. And if the answers no, that's fine, too. We'll just have to come up with another plan.” She felt the intense need to leave. “I should get going. I'll see you both later.”

She fled the apartment, grabbing her purse as she left.

* * *

Kara stared at the space where Lena had just been. She didn't know what to think after the bomb Lena had just dropped on her. She finished changing Jax diaper and then put him in his swing while she made his breakfast.

It was just under three months since she'd gotten Jax and Kara thought she'd done a fairly good job so far. It had even gotten easier since Lena was getting so involved. The CEO was fastidious when it came to the baby; clearing her schedule on her days to watch Jax, spending more and more of her weekends with them rather than in the office. It was even getting easier to leave for the Supergirl emergencies even if Lena was occupied, leaving a playpen at the DEO wasn't the best option, but they made it work.

But this…

Her loft really was the last piece of her life that she hadn't been forced to let go of yet. Her art, her work, her heroing; all of it was on the back burner. Sure, she'd go back to work soon, sooner than she'd like honestly, but she was considering working from home for the most part.

She mashed a banana and mixed in some baby Oatmeal. As she stirred, she looked over her apartment, surprised when she realized it was barely recognizable.

Her dish rack had been moved and now a bottle tree had taken prominence on her counter. There was a high chair at her table and a baby tub in her sink. All of her cabinets now sported annoying push button baby locks, there were baby clothes everywhere, wipes within arms reach of every corner of the apartment. Her furniture in the living room was pushed together to try and contain the explosion of blocks and toys that Jax threw around on a daily basis.

And Jax. He had changed most of all. It was now commonplace to see him standing on rapidly steadying legs, even going as far as walking as long as he had his hands on the couch or side table to guide him. Wasn't it just last week she'd been wondering when he'd crawl? At his last appointment, Alex had declared him the same size as other 11 month olds, his growth finally evening out.

In less than a month he'd be a year old. He'd be walking, talking, and running faster than she could imagine. Currently, his crib was just shoved up against the foot of her bed. It wouldn't be too long before he'd out grow that. She imagined switching the crib out for a toddler bed and sighed.

Lena was right.

Kara placed the oatmeal on the table and grabbed Jax, putting him in the high chair. Smiling, Kara got her phone and called Lena. She answered on the first ring.

“Hello? Kara?”

She took a deep breath. “Okay, let's do it.”

There was a beat of silence on the other line and Kara realized she hadn't actually mentioned what she was talking about. But before she could follow up, there was a sharp intake of breath on the other line.

“Are you sure?” Lena asked, her voice small.

Kara looked over at her son, clumsily spooning his breakfast into his mouth. “Yes, I'm positive. It's the right thing to do, for Jax. He's gonna need more space.”

“Maybe we could go see the property later?” She asked, the excitement in her voice was palpable. “I want your opinion before anything is final. We can even go to dinner afterwards.”

“That sounds great.” And it did.

She could do this. _They_ could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hummus, thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
